


Bruises: Phase Two

by KinkyPlotBunny



Series: Asylum, or Making a Life [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, BDSM, F/M, Fluff - Kind Of, Humiliation, Insecurity, M/M, Mention of torture, but also love, mention of rape, more Bruises, pretty much a relationship you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 33,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinkyPlotBunny/pseuds/KinkyPlotBunny
Summary: Loki and the OC are entering a new stage in their life. Still mostly smut though ;-)
Relationships: Loki/Original Character (female), Loki/Stephen Strange
Series: Asylum, or Making a Life [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737073
Comments: 87
Kudos: 35





	1. Date

**Author's Note:**

> Ahem.  
> *clears throat*  
> This thing on?  
> So I wrote another 40k words about these two. (Oh and there will be another character joining in the fun soon!)  
> Let me know what you think! (Or leave kudos. Kudos are good, too.)

Loki lingered in the doorway for a moment after we’d already hugged and said goodbye.

“It might sound a little weird after everything we've done but... I'd like to take you out on a date. If you want.”

I looked at him, surprised to see insecurity in his eyes.

“I'd like that,” I said, gentle and sincere.

His expression relaxed.

“I mean, we hardly know each other,” he added with a shrug.

“Worried you won’t like me when I'm not beating you up?”

Only after I'd said it did I realise there was a good chance that would turn out to be true, and it made me uneasy. What if I couldn't hold his attention outside of playing? If there was nothing about me he'd be interested in beside the kinky dynamics? He was right, we knew practically nothing about each other's lives and very little about each other's real-life personalities. All of a sudden, I was very aware of how attractive he was, how confident. It was intimidating, if I thought about it too long. And just like that I was reminded of how shy I could get when I liked someone.

“Whoa what just happened in there?” he said and gently touched my temple.

I tried to shrug it off.

“You're right. We don't actually know each other apart from the kink.”

“Which is why people go on dates,” he said, low but urgent. “To get to know each other.”

I swallowed my 'what if you don't like what you see' response and gave him a smile.

“Right. So, what do you want to do?”

“Do you trust me to pick the location? Surprise you?”

“Sure, why not? Just tell me what to wear.”

His eyes darkened a little.

“I'd never,” he breathed.

Damn it that tone was hot... I pulled myself together.

“I meant, let me know how to dress to the occasion.”

“Copy that. Saturday afternoon?”

“Fine with me.”

He gave me a gentle smile.

“I'm looking forward to it a lot.”

Returning the smile, I answered:

“Me too.”

He looked at me for a moment before leaning in and kissing me, making it an offer, not a demand. An offer I was happy to accept, and the kiss turned into something deep and passionate and left both of us wanting more.

“It's kinda tough to let you go,” I murmured.

“Same.”

He took a breath and straightened.

“Anyway. I'll see you on Saturday.”

“Okay,” I said with a sigh and pulled him into another kiss, and then he was gone and my head was spinning.


	2. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're negotiating again. Amongst other things ;-D

A picknick. Loki had organised an actual picknick and found the most beautiful spot. We were enjoying the late afternoon sun, sprawled out on the blanket he had brought, lazily picking at the last of the food. I popped a grape into my mouth.

“Is it safe to assume that your no sex rule is about to change?”

Loki huffed out a laugh.

“Yes.”

He kissed me, and when the kiss ended he stayed close.

“That rule was supposed to prevent _this_ from happening. Didn't quite work.”

I knew what he meant.

“Why would you want to avoid falling in love?”

“Because it never ends well. Never has, so far. Especially not when it started out the way it did with us.”

“Casual play partners you mean.”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna…”

“Not really. It's just that falling for a Dom when they don't reciprocate is a pain in the ass. Especially if they want to keep playing.”

“That's…”

“Yes. I know. What can I say. I was desperate.”

“I'm sorry, Loki.”

“Yeah. Anyway. What were you saying about having sex?”

I hummed.

“I just wanted to make sure.”

When the sun was about to set I started getting a little cold.

“Wanna call it a day? Or I could lend you my jacket,” Loki said when he noticed.

“I’m conflicted.”

Loki huffed out a small laugh.

“Are you now. Care to let me in on your thought process?”

“I don’t want this to be over, Loki. It’s nice. I like it.”

“It doesn’t have to be over if you don’t want it to.”

I looked at him, waiting. He cleared his throat.

“We could… you know. Go to my place. If you like.”

I thought he was adorable, but something told me that was a word he wouldn’t particularly like. So I just smiled.

“I do. I mean I’d like that.”

When we arrived at his flat we unceremoniously decided to make a bee line for his bed. And there we were. Definitely his turf, but it felt oddly right. We snuggled up, both still fully dressed, and I absolutely loved being surrounded by his scent. We kissed and cuddled, and then all of a sudden the mood changed. Loki kissed me more fiercely then before and rolled on top of me. God it felt great... I let my hands wander, lost in the warmth of his body beneath his shirt. When he pulled back to look at me I raised my eyebrows.

“Is this okay?” he asked. “I'm not sure what I'm allowed to do to be honest.”

“Pretty much what you want,” I purred, “As long as you remember that you're mine.”

He buried his face against my shoulder with a groan.

“How do you still sound dominant even when I have you beneath me?” he murmured, and it sounded amused.

“It's who I am,” I shrugged. “Can you look at me please?”

He did, and I traced his jawline.

“Is that a bad thing? Do you miss being dominant?”

He seemed to think about it.

“Because I don't think I can give you that,” I added.

He kissed me and shook his head.

“No. I don't miss it. Or rather it's not that important.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said, shifting his weight and laying down beside me. I propped myself up on my elbow. Running my hand down his chest and stomach I said:

“It never ended well when a man tried to make me embrace my inner submissive.”

Loki burst out laughing.

“Oh dear. They must have had a death wish.”

It made me chuckle.

“I don't mind asking nicely though… so... can I please get you out of the shirt?” I batted my eyelashes at him.

“By all means,” he said and laid back.

I opened one button and touched his skin, just a brush of my fingertips. Next button, gentle kiss. Another one, licking up from his sternum over his throat to his jaw. He didn't make a sound, but when I looked up at his face he was biting his lip, and I realised he was holding his breath.

“Let go,” I whispered, and when he did it came out on a moan.

“What was it that you liked that much?” I mused, “This?” And I kissed his jaw again, the tip of my tongue against his skin.

“Yes,” he breathed, “please do that again.”

“You might end up covered in love bites if you encourage me too much.”

“Are you saying you're about to mark me?”

“For fuck's sake, Loki!”

“What?”

“You're impossible.”

He chuckled, and I opened another button. His pale skin was smooth and warm beneath my lips, beautiful and inviting. I kept kissing and licking all the way down to his belt buckle.

“This feels like such a privilege,” he whispered. “The way you touch me.”

“Wait until you're inside me,” I purred, and he let out a moan that made me wish he already was. When I started to open his belt, he put his hand over mine.

“Wait,” he whispered and sat up. “I want to draw this out.”

I just grinned and laid back.

“Can I touch you? At will? Or would you rather give me direction?” he asked, eyes on mine.

“Knock yourself out. Let's see if you're as good with your hands as with your mouth.”

”I do like a challenge,” he purred, and then I felt the ghost of a touch across my stomach, underneath the hem of my t-shirt. I closed my eyes, wanting to be surprised. He pushed the tee up just the slightest bit and pressed a kiss to my bare skin, light as a feather.

“You do like to use your mouth,” I said with a smile.

“Are you complaining?”

“No. I want to make it absolutely clear that I am very much not complaining.”

“Noted.”

My tee rode up a little higher. Another ghost kiss. The brush of his fingertips up and down my side. I lifted my arms over my head.

“Want the tee gone?”

“Yes, I do.”

He pulled it over my head and then lightly dragged it across my chest, down my arms and over my stomach, leaving goose bumps in its wake. When I opened my eyes, I found him staring at my skin, head tilted to one side.

”What?”

“Goosebumps.”

“Yes?”

“I've never seen such a subtle reaction from you before. You're sensitive.”

He sounded genuinely surprised.

“What, just because messy and brutal turns me on I can't be sensitive?”

He chuckled.

“Wonder what your own pain tolerance is.”

“Non-existent. I'm a total lightweight.”

“Huh. Who would have thought.”

“Yeah well. Less talking. More touching.”

His smile widened and his eyes darkened a little.

“Yes, ma'am.”

From then on out his touch was pure worship, strong, slender hands, soft lips, clever tongue, accompanied by his gorgeous voice and rich chuckle every now and then, and I melted and dissolved and gloriously came the first time before he'd even gotten out of his jeans.

We lay side by side, me slowly coming to my senses, him in no apparent hurry to go after his own release.

“So patient,” I murmured against his neck, “I like it.”

“I've nowhere else to be tonight. You?”

I chuckled.

“Nope.”

Sitting up and looking at him I asked:

“So, what can we do for you?”

He buried his face between my thighs and placed a kiss on my clit.

“There was talk about being inside you a while back,” he said, “do you happen to remember that?”

“Oh I remember alright. Would you like that then? Fill me? Spill yourself inside me?”

He groaned.

“Fuck yes. If I even make it that long with that kind of talk...”

I ran my hand down the front of his jeans, and he pressed into the touch.

“Please undress me,” he said, voice hoarse all of a sudden. “God please can I have your hands on me?”

“Hands, mouth, tongue, whatever you want, pretty boy.”

He let out another groan.

“Fuck this is going to be over very fast.”

“Well we both know how fast you recover, so that shouldn't be a problem...”

“Please! Please get your hands on me!”

I grinned and opened his belt and the first button on his jeans, rubbing him through the denim. His jaw set. Between clenched teeth he begged again, so I opened his jeans all the way.

“Huh. Not going commando today.”

“It didn't quite fit the mood.” He exhaled, presumably glad to be rid of the pressure. I kissed him through his briefs and pulled his jeans down his legs and off. He looked up at me, patiently waiting. I ran my hands all over his body, naked skin as well as still covered balls and cock, and he hummed and moaned and moved into my touch.

“I think I want you on top of me again,” I murmured right into his ear. “Would you like that?”

He hesitated.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. A world of yes actually.”

I lay back and he took off his briefs, kneeling over me. I looked up at him, stroking his cock, cupping his balls. And then he leaned in, holding his body above me, gently nudging my legs further apart with his knee. When I felt the tip of his cock touch my pussy I let out a small moan, putting my hands on his hips, pulling him closer, opening for him, and a moment later he was balls deep inside me and we both gasped.

“Fuck you feel good,” he groaned.

“Likewise.”

I arched my back against him and he stilled for a moment before starting a slow, deep rhythm. Fuck yes he felt good.

”Like I said,” he panted after what felt like two minutes, “I don't think I'm going to last very long.”

“That's fine, just let yourself go. Let go. Fall apart for me.”

And that was that. I'd watched him come so many times, desperately, painfully, but this was different. He just let go, his perfect body uncoiling, relaxing, with a sigh rather than a moan. It was almost enough to push me over the edge. Almost, but not quite. He'd stilled, actually putting some of his weight on me, and it felt delicious, but I was still wound up tight. I started rolling my hips, curious to see how much I could get out of him. He chuckled, lifting himself up a little to give me more room.

“How close are you?” he asked, brushing his lips against the corner of my mouth.

“Close.” I was panting, my release within reach, grinding against him to get there.

“Then take from me what you need,” he said, voice perfectly smooth, submissive despite his seemingly topping position, and that was what did it. I dug my nails into his shoulder blades and arched my back against him one last time, and he hummed, a low rumble in his chest, and when I flopped back onto the mattress he smiled down on me.

“My lady,” he breathed, managing to sound humble and proud at the same time. “A privilege indeed.” He kissed my temple. “To be allowed to see you like this. Feel you. Touch you. I can't believe I'm allowed to touch you.”

I just lay there, eyes closed, smiling.

“I'd be an idiot not to let you. Do you have any idea how hard it's been not to let you?”

When he didn't respond I opened one eye. He moved in again, sliding his body against mine, kissing my neck.

“Is that so?” he whispered, trailing kisses all the way down my chest and stomach, eventually pressing his lips to my clit. I tensed, spent and oversensitive, but he just hummed and kissed me there again and then retreated.

“You're everything,” he said. “My lady. My mistress. My queen. Take whatever you want from me, I'm yours. Until there is nothing left in me to give I'll give you whatever you need. Whatever you want.”

I looked at him for a long moment.

“Are you trying to turn me on? Again?”

“Is it working?”

I didn't answer him, just trailed my fingers down my body and between my thighs, very gently touching myself. Loki bit his lip, eyes glued to my hand. I raised it to my mouth and started sucking my fingers clean, and it drew a strangled whimper from him.

“Please,” he begged, “please let _me_.”

I started to smile.

“You're so easy.”

“I know. I am. Please?”

I reached out and he came closer, close enough for me to touch his mouth. He gently sucked on my index finger, then my middle finger. I pushed both fingers into his mouth, down his throat. He sucked and licked and swirled his clever greedy tongue around them, and when I pulled out he kissed my fingertips.

“Wanna clean up my pussy as well?”

“God yes.”

“Careful though. Very sensitive post orgasm.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he whispered, and then I was treated to that gorgeous tongue lapping up my juices as well as his cum, swallowing it all, little kisses here and there, happy needy sounds of growing arousal, and then he rested his forehead against my thigh.

“I'll go take care of myself if that's alright with you,” he said, lazily stroking his half hard cock.

“You could just do it here. If you want.”

He looked up at me, eyes dark.

“Get myself off under your eyes?”

“M-hm.”

“Put on a show for you?”

“By all means.”

“Ask for your permission to come?”

“Beg. _Beg_ for my permission to come.”

He closed his eyes, his slender fingers already wrapped around his cock.

“Yes ma'am,” he whispered. “For your pleasure only. May I please start?”

“Slow. Very very slow.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Just enough to get fully hard.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

He did as he was told, and then he paused and dropped his hand, presenting his fully erect cock.

“Close your eyes.”

He did without hesitation, and I swallowed him as far as I could. He bucked into me, making me gag and forcing me to pull back for a breath.

“Easy, tiger,” I chuckled.

“I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I didn't—"

“It's fine, calm down. That _was_ kinda unfair.”

“I'm not complaining,” he breathed, and I lay back with a grin.

“Do it. Get yourself off.”

He set a fast pace, head thrown back, so close. I couldn't resist.

“Stop.”

He growled in frustration but obeyed, chest heaving, hands trembling.

“Please, ma'am, may I make myself come?”

“How close do you think you are?”

“Five, maybe ten more strokes?”

“Twenty-five.”

He growled again. I raised my eyebrows.

“Yes, ma'am,” he said.

“Sets of five. Then pause.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

He gave himself five strokes, then froze, barely breathing.

“Again,” I ordered.

“Yes, ma'am.”

Five more. Pause. I dragged it out.

“Please?”

“Fine. Go.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Five more. Pause.

“May I please have permission to come, ma'am? Please? God please ma'am I'm so close!”

I grinned.

“Please!!”

I kissed him and whispered: “Permission granted,” and literally a second later he was there, spilling his cum over his hand and stomach, with the most delicious sounds and words of relief on his lips.

I stayed the night. Somehow it wasn’t a big deal, it just happened. When I woke up the next day Loki was already awake, arms behind his head, looking at the ceiling.

“Hey,” I said and kissed his jaw.

He didn’t move, but I could feel him smile.

“Hey. Sleep alright?”

“Like a baby. How long have you been awake?”

“Not sure, an hour maybe?”

“What’cha been doing?”

“Thinking.”

“About?”

He turned towards me.

“This. Us.”

My stomach turned. Apparently it showed on my face, because he shook his head with a smile and kissed me.

“No need to look alarmed.”

“No?”

“No.”

“So you’re not regretting this?”

“Why would I? We’re good together, don’t you think?”

I relaxed.

“Yes. Yes, we are,” I confirmed.

“Can we talk about the rules?” he asked.

“As in do we want this to be exclusive?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, what’s your take on it?”

“I don’t want you sleeping with other people.” He winced. “Sorry. That came out wrong. I just… I don’t think I’d have a problem with you playing with other subs, but as for the sex… I was surprised to realise that I would very much like that to be exclusive.”

He looked at me.

“What do you think?”

“I think I’d be fine with that rule. I _might_ want to play with someone else. You might want to top.”

He paused.

“I hadn’t even thought about that. Good point though.”

“Alright then. Play with whoever you want, but tell me. Beforehand?”

“Okay.”

“And no sleeping around.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I chuckled.

“Loki, this is the one moment where you can’t be submissive.”

“Says who?” He turned serious. “I know. I expect you to follow the same rules.”

“As is your right. I will. You have my word.”


	3. Stephen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New player in town! Wonder if you know him...

Things went well. Loki and I quickly settled into a routine of working (both of us more or less following our pre relationship schedules), playing (usually at my place) and just being together (alternating between his flat and my house). One evening, we were sitting in my living room, when my phone swooshed. Loki looked up from his.

“Not me,” he shrugged.

When I checked the caller ID, I felt a huge smile spread on my face.

“Now _that_ looks enthusiastic.”

I nodded, still grinning like crazy.

“Stephen is in town.”

“Who's Stephen?”

“A friend I haven't seen in forever. He’s a surgeon.”

“Hhmm. Good with his hands then.”

I chuckled.

“From what I’m told… also really good at rope, so… I met him at a convention a few years back. He was giving a lecture on domination versus sadism.”

Loki hummed.

“Sounds hot.”

“He is.”

“Did you ever have anything going?”

“No. I never played, or slept, with him. Entirely too Dom for me. And gay. But I'd sure like to do a joint scene.”

I put my phone down and went to Loki, straddling him.

“Sharing _you_ , maybe,” I purred into his ear, rolling my hips.

He turned his head away.

“You know I can't.”

Gently kissing his temple, I whispered:

“I know. I'm sorry.”

He put his hands on my hips.

“Are you going to see him while he's in town?”

“I'll text him. I'd love to see him.”

I detached myself from Loki’s lap and took up my phone again, typing my reply:

‘Hi, haven’t heard from you in forever!’

Stephen’s reaction came immediately:

‘I know, things have been crazy. What's new?’

‘Most important news is probably - I'm in a relationship.’

‘Oh wow, congratulations! Tell me everything!’

‘No way can I type all of that. Do you have time to meet?’

‘Would I text you if I didn't?’

An hour later Stephen was sitting across from me at our favourite bar, looking as great as always, beard neatly trimmed, a little more grey at his temples than the last time I’d seen him. He took a healthy gulp of his beer.

“God I’ve missed this. I’ve missed _you_!” he said.

“Me too. I’m so glad you texted me.”

He gave me his typical smile, wide and charming, the one that always used to win him the attention of the hottest guy in the room. Fortunately for me, it was a quiet night, and he was focusing entirely on me.

“So, tell me about that boy of yours.”

“Well, first of all I don't feel like 'boy' is the right term.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“Too old to be called a boy or have you gone switch since I last saw you?”

“No. No no no. Still Domme all the way. But _he_ 's a switch. Not that he's currently domming, but the vibe is there. Like, Dominant undercurrent maybe?”

Stephen hummed.

“Sounds like a challenge. Straight?”

“Bi.”

His eyebrows hit his hairline.

“Picture please.”

I chuckled and showed him the pics I had on my phone, including Loki's FetLife profile pic. Stephen bit his lip.

“Holy cow! And you're definitely right about the Dom vibes.”

“I know right?!”

Stephen leaned back.

“And you're happy? He's good for you?”

I felt myself beam. Stephen grinned.

“No further questions, your honour.”

I knew I was blushing and I didn't care. Taking a sip of my coffee I asked:

“How are things with Chris?”

Immediately Stephen's grin was wiped off his face.

“Oh no,” I said, regretting the question.

“Yes. He's finally had enough of me.”

“Oh man I'm sorry.”

He shrugged.

“I had it coming. I was a complete dick.”

“Oh, come on. I'm sure that's not true.”

“Yes, unfortunately it is.”

“Can it be mended?”

“Maybe, at some point it could have been... but I was too much of a dick to even try, and now...” He sighed. “I burned those bridges and launched the ashes into outer space. It's been almost a year. Well and truly over.”

I didn't know what to say. Their relationship had always been stormy, but they loved each other. Had loved each other at some point at least. There had been talk of getting married. Stephen pulled himself together.

“So, enough of me. What else is new?”

“Not that much actually. Latest book is going well, and the one before that _may_ be turned into a movie.”

“And that's just an also-ran in your world?! Man, that guy most be truly gorgeous.”

I grinned and shrugged.

“Oh, and I appeared on a podcast. Introduced a gay vanilla cutie pie to the dark dark world of kinky pleasure.”

That drew a little groan from him and he immediately tried to bite it back.

“How did _that_ happen?”

“Oh, I don't know, Loki might or might not have fucked him, he never told me. That was before we got together.”

Stephen shook his head with a grin.

“Baby, you're living the life.”

When I came home Loki was already half asleep. I snuggled close and he sleepily put an arm around me, spooning me.

“Hey. Had fun?” he slurred.

“God yes. And by the way we talked about you. A lot, actually.”

That seemed to wake him up a little more. He ran his fingertips down my side, brushing my hipbone, kissing the back of my neck.

“Did you now,” he murmured on my skin.

Another kiss, the tip of his tongue. He knew what that was doing to me. I tried to focus.

“He said he'd like to meet you.”

“Huh. You must have spoken highly of me.”

I turned in his arms.

“How else am I supposed to speak of you?” I asked softly, studying his face.

He looked away.

“What?” I asked.

“That's still hard to handle.”

“What is?”

“That look in your eyes.”

He forced his eyes back to mine.

“I drown in that look, trying to pull myself free, and then I remember that I no longer have to do that. That I'm allowed to feel what I feel.”

He kissed me, sweet and lingering and full of longing, pouring himself into the kiss. I rolled on top of him.

“I know this whole thing is complicated. But it's so worth it. Stephen said 'I want to meet the man who makes you smile like that.' People keep telling me I look happy. I'm happier than I've been in a very long time, and that's on you. You make me happy, Loki.”

He just smiled and pulled me against his body.

“Same.”

We agreed on inviting Stephen over the next day, and that’s how I found myself sitting at my dinner table with two of the most gorgeous men in the universe. There was laughter and innuendo and flirtation and quite a bit of wine, and when Stephen decided he had to call it a night Loki pouted most adorably.

“Uh oh,” I said with a grin, “when he breaks out The Pout all hope of resistance is lost.”

“Did you just pronounce capital letters?” Stephen chuckled and shook his head.

I gestured at Loki.

“I mean… look at him!”

“I do,” Stephen said, sounding a lot more sober than he had a minute ago. “He’s hard to ignore.”

Loki cleared his throat. Eyes down he said, very softly:

“I love being ignored. If it’s done by the right people.”

And just like that he’d changed the temperature in the room. I still wasn’t used to his ability to do that, and obviously Stephen wasn’t either. Stephen looked at me and I could see something flash in his eyes, a mixture of hunger and surprise, and I was pretty sure he could see the same in me. Loki still wasn’t looking at either one of us, but I just knew that he knew. Sneaky bastard. And then I realised how drunk we all were. Someone had to be the adult here.

“Gentlemen,” I said and stood, “nobody in this room is able to give their consent. Which is why I recommend retiring to bed.”

And I burst out laughing, trying to repeat that three times fast.

“Right. As I was saying. Calling it a night.” Stephen stood, too. “I’ll call a cab.”

“What? No! There’s plenty of room here,” I protested.

Stephen looked back and forth between Loki and me.

“Yes, please stay,” Loki said with a smile.

I nodded. “Guest room is yours.”

We set Stephen up in the guest room, and a little later in bed I whispered into Loki’s ear:

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Whatever it is that you want to say about Stephen.”

Loki closed his eyes with a sigh.

“He’s gorgeous. A guy could reconsider the not playing with men rule...”

I propped myself up on my elbow.

“Do you want to?”

“You did say you wanted to share me...”

“M-hm...”

“Think he’d want that?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Turning serious I looked at him.

“I know you have valid reason to stay away from submitting to a man.”

“Yeah. But on the other hand, I miss it, sometimes. It was never much of an issue because I’d never met anyone… the right guy, I mean. But now… he’s a good one, I think.”

“He is. I trust him unreservedly.”

“And you’re willing to share?”

“You? With him?”

“Yeah?”

“God yes. The idea of watching you submit to him is… delicious.”

“Alright then. So, I guess tomorrow I’ll offer myself to my mistress’ friend, a man I’ve only just met, on nothing but her word.”

Oh boy. I swallowed hard.

“Does that please you, my lady?”

“Let’s say it arouses me, fuckboy.”

“Which is my purpose.”

“Which is your purpose.”

I kissed him, hard and possessive, and he moaned into it.

“I love you,” he whispered when I broke the kiss.

“I love you, too. Are you sure it’s what you want? Not scared?”

“I am. Scared, I mean. But you’re there, and Stephen is amazing. I wanna try. Will you protect me if necessary?”

I swallowed again, pulling him close.

“Of course. Anything you need.”

And so the next morning we negotiated a three-way scene over breakfast, Loki’s first time with a man in forever. Stephen suggested that I should be in control so that I could make sure Loki was safe, which was only proving the point that he was the right guy.

“Let’s keep it light,” he added, and we both nodded.

“It’s our first time,” I said, looking at Loki with a smile. “Solid advice.”

Reaching out to touch his hand I said:

“Breathe, love. Let us know what you want.”

Loki chewed on his lip.

“I’d like to be restrained I think. Teased maybe? Ordered to please… the both of you.”

Stephen's eyes met mine and he started to smile. Oh, this was going to be good… Loki told Stephen about his hard limits while I went to set up the playroom, and then it was time to play.

I left it to Stephen to restrain the sub, knowing what an amazing rope top he was. It was beautiful to watch him work, Loki’s toned chest and stomach being covered in intricate patterns of rope, hugging his slender waist and fixing his wrists behind his back. I kept checking in with him, but it wouldn’t have been necessary. He seemed to trust Stephen from the get go, or maybe it was the fact that I was there. When Stephen was satisfied with his work he stepped back.

“Care to inspect your sub, ma’am?”

“ _Our_ sub, Stephen. And you did him beautifully. As I knew you would.”

“Thank you,” Stephen said with a graceful little bow.

“I think you should thank my guest for his time and effort, fuckboy.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Loki said and sank to his knees. Looking up at Stephen he added:

“May I be of service, sir?”

“Well, how could I say no to that. Fly.”

Loki tried his best to open Stephen’s belt and pants with his teeth, and Stephen helped him out when necessary.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do it properly, sir,” Loki murmured. “May I please be punished for my incompetence, sir?”

Stephen looked at me, eyebrows raised. I shrugged.

“He’s on his best behaviour. Feel free to do as he asks.”

Stephen traced Loki’s jaw.

“It’s a minor inconvenience. Nothing I’d punish a sub for on his first time.”

Loki moved his head slightly so his lips brushed Stephen’s palm.

“Thank you, sir. That’s very generous.”

Stephen pulled his hand away and slapped Loki.

“What I do consider a punishable act though is touching me without permission, fucktoy.”

Loki bent down as best he could, his forehead almost touching the floor.

“I’m sorry, master!”

“Tell me, fucktoy, how does your mistress usually punish you?”

Loki swallowed.

“She beats me, sir.”

“Does she now. Well I think she gets more out of that than I do so I’ll leave the punishment to her. If you don’t mind,” he added, turning to me.

“Not at all,” I said with a grin and pulled Loki upright by his hair. “Fetch.”

“Yes, my lady,” Loki whispered and crawled over to the bed on his knees. Using his teeth, he picked up the riding crop I’d laid out there and came back to present it to me.

“Good boy.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“You know how this works. What body part was involved in your transgression?”

He paled.

“My lips, ma’am.”

“Exactly. Close your eyes.”

While Loki obeyed, Stephen’s eyes went wide. I winked at him and raised the crop to Loki’s lips. I tapped the tip against his mouth a few times, and then I put a little more force behind it. It drew a small moan and a whispered ‘Thank you, ma’am’ from Loki. I did it again, maybe a dozen times in total, and ordered:

“Repeat the lesson.”

“I mustn’t touch a Dom without permission, ma’am.”

I hit him once more.

“Exactly. Apologise.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Lips trembling, Loki crawled towards Stephen and bowed as deeply as he could.

“Master, please forgive me for touching you without permission.”

Stephen lifted Loki’s chin.

“Look at me.”

Loki obeyed, lips slightly parted, eyes wavering. Stephen looked at him for an eternity.

“You may kiss my shoes.”

“Thank you, sir,” Loki breathed and bent down again.

“Now get back to work.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

A moment later Stephen’s pants and briefs were down far enough to free his cock, but Loki just waited. Patiently, obediently waiting for permission to please Stephen. We grinned at each other. Lesson learned. I went to stand behind Loki and whispered in his ear:

“Don’t embarrass me here, fucktoy. I expect you to be swallowing cum in under five minutes.”

“Yes, ma’am. May I begin, sir?”

Stephen nodded and I retreated to the couch to watch my sub go down on one of my oldest friends.

“Fuck’s sake, he’s good,” Stephen panted a few minutes later, head thrown back, as he came down Loki’s throat.

“I know. I’ve trained him as best I could, but it was high time he got some real cock.”

Stephen took a deep breath and let it out through his nose.

“Now go take care of your mistress’ needs, fucktoy. I don’t have use for you any longer.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you for allowing me to suck your cock and swallow your cum, sir.”

Stephen chuckled.

“My, he’s polite. I like it!”

I shrugged.

“Manners can’t hurt. He always says please and thank you, don’t you, fuckboy?”

“Yes, ma’am. As you taught me, ma’am.”

“Unless he has his mouth full.” Stephen grinned. It made me chuckle.

“Come here, fucktoy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Tell me about his rules of behaviour,” Stephen said as he tucked himself back into his pants and Loki started to open mine.

“Oh, you know, the usual. Don’t speak unless spoken to, eyes on the floor, that sort of thing.”

Loki had managed to pull my pants down and kissed my clit once, all soft lips and the tip of his tongue, worship and gratitude. After that he waited for my order, and I _kept_ him waiting, telling Stephen at length about Loki’s training. Loki knelt with his eyes fixed on my pussy, eagerly awaiting the order to begin. When he couldn’t take it any longer he whispered:

“Please, my lady, may I serve you?”

“You’re such a greedy, impatient, demanding little shit.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m sorry I’m this needy, but please allow me to be of service. Please!”

Stephen came over, looking straight at me, grinning. I wasn’t sure what he was planning, but I nodded.

“Kneel up, fuckboy,” he ordered, and Loki obeyed. “What were you saying to your mistress?”

“I was asking for permission to serve her, sir.”

“And has that ever worked? In your experience? Nagging her like that?”

Loki’s shoulders sagged.

“No, sir, it hasn’t. In fact it has gotten me in trouble more than once.”

Stephen moved in and started running his fingertips over Loki’s cock.

“So why do you keep doing it?”

“Because I need it so much, sir.”

Stephen’s grip on Loki’s cock tightened.

“What are we, service tops? Here for your amusement?”

“No, sir!”

Stephen set a fast pace, mercilessly jerking Loki to the brink of release, and then he let go. Loki fought to keep his composure, eyes on the floor, chest heaving.

“Ma’am, _please_ ,” he all but whimpered, “please, please, _please_ just let me do something for you. Anything. Please!”

I leaned back.

“A foot rub would be nice.”

Both men stared at me for a moment, and then Stephen burst out laughing while Loki averted his eyes and whispered:

“Yes, ma’am.”

Turning towards Stephen he asked:

“Would you please untie me, sir, so I can serve my lady?”

Stephen complied, and that’s all I let Loki do for me in that scene. I could practically see him vibrate with pent up need, with a desire to serve _sexually_ that seemed to be almost unbearable, but I pretended not to notice, moaning in pleasure. He was good. His massages always were. But it wasn’t what he wanted, and he was getting more and more frustrated.

“Say it,” I purred.

He swallowed.

“What do you want me to say, ma’am?”

“Don’t play stupid. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Nothing, ma’am. I aim to please. I obey.”

I grabbed his chin.

“Do not. Lie to me.”

He swallowed again.

“You are going to punish me if I answer truthfully, ma’am,” he said, low, desperate.

“I will if you deserve it. I won’t repeat myself. So?”

“I long to kiss your clit, ma’am. Lick you, give you pleasure, make you come. Please don’t punish me for that need. Please! Please just let me serve you—or send me away, ma’am.”

I slapped him.

“Did you just give me an ultimatum?!”

“Please!”

And he broke. Tears running down his cheeks, breath hitching, lips trembling he kept murmuring ‘please.’ I met Stephen’s eyes. He was just as turned on as me.

“You want the fucktoy again?” I asked, and when Stephen grinned and nodded I ordered Loki back on Stephen’s cock, getting myself off while I watched.

Later in bed Loki and I talked about it. He’d enjoyed the scene tremendously, and tentatively told me he’d like to repeat the experience. Stephen was all for it. So the three of us kept meeting at irregular intervals, our scenes getting longer, more sophisticated, darker, and harder. Loki thrived, getting bolder and more confident every time, and afterwards he usually was in high spirits. During aftercare he always looked like a purring cat, revelling in the touch of our hands, proudly presenting his bruises, playful and happy, and hotter than ever.


	4. Eating Out

Shaved, bound and plugged, barefoot, wearing the tightest jeans and the flimsiest shirt I could find for him—so practically naked—that's how Loki sat across from me at the restaurant, back straight and off his chair's back rest, knees apart, eyes down.

“Right hand behind your back. You'll only use your left hand. It's not as fun as it could be because you're ambidextrous, but still. You'll eat and drink what I order for you, and you'll do it when I tell you to.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he said, voice rough with lust, trying not to squirm.  
  
“Are you aware of the date?”

Loki froze.

“I'm not, ma'am. I'm sorry?”

“A year ago today I sent you that very first message.”

He let out a breath.

“No way has that been a year.”

”Are you saying I'm wrong?”

“No. No, ma'am, I'm sorry.”

“Look at me.”

He did, and I went on, gentle and low:

“It _has_ been a year. And I can't thank you enough.”

He swallowed, at a loss for words.

“I love you. I want you. I adore you,” I added, my heart swelling.

“I—I wish I could show you how I feel, ma'am. Properly...”

“Oh there will be plenty of time for that.”

The waiter greeted us, and Loki's eyes immediately dropped. I smiled at the waiter and ordered my meal.

“Very well, and you, sir?”

Loki kept his perfect posture, silent and patient.

“He'll have the veggie lasagne and a small glass of tap water please.”

Even with his face lowered I could tell that Loki's cheeks were flushed.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you, ma'am,” he murmured, blush intensifying.

The waiter hesitated for a second before nodding at me and retreating to the kitchen.

“Embarrassed?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Good. I wish I could have led you in here on a leash.”

He swallowed.

“Naked.”

The barely suppressed moan escaping him was highly dangerous to my composure.

“Maybe we could find a way to do that,” he said after a while. “At home? Or an event maybe?”

I felt myself grin.

“I like the way your dirty little mind works.”

When the food came I started eating right away. Loki waited, eyes on his plate. I made him wait for five minutes.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Would you like to eat?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Ask.”

“Please, ma'am, may I eat some of the lasagne?”

I hummed approvingly at his phrasing.

“One bite.”

“Thank you, ma'am.”

He took a very modest bite and chewed, waiting for my permission to swallow. On my command he did, slowly, savouring the taste as well as the sensation of the food sliding down his throat. It made me bite the inside of my cheek, glad that he couldn't see my face.

“You're a dangerous little slut, aren't you?”

“Thank you, ma'am.”

Cheeky bastard. I liked it.

“You may eat freely until I tell you to stop.”

“Thank you, ma'am, that's very generous.”

He still took small, deliberate bites, eating slowly, the picture of modesty, and damn that was hot.

After we were finished, Loki asked me for permission to use the bathroom. I followed him with my eyes, lost in the way he moved and that view of a world class ass, and then I saw the waiter approach him. They talked, glancing at me. Loki smiled and shook his head. When he returned to our table, Loki waited for permission to sit, and then he said:

“My lady?”

“Yes?”

“May I make a request please?”

“Go ahead.”

“Please tip generously.”

My eyebrows rose.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean even more generously than usual. Please.”

Later while I was driving home, Loki said:

“Thanks for tipping the waiter.”

“Yeah, what was up with that?”

“He asked me if I was okay. He didn't think I deserved to be treated like that.”

I was slightly irritated.

“Think about it,” Loki went on. “It's actually sweet. And don't worry, I did tell him how much I enjoy it.”

From the corner of my eyes I could see him look at me.

“A stranger was worried about my wellbeing. That's a good thing. Plus, we did kinda impose our kink on him.”

I felt a little guilty.

“Yeah, true. Maybe I should have warned them in advance,” I allowed.

Loki was quiet for the rest of the drive, a sure sign that his brilliant mind was working hard.


	5. Starved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse of what Stephen is capable of, and Loki enjoys the heck out of it.

The next time Stephen was in town we put a collar and leash on our shared sub. I plugged him and Stephen gagged him.

“Looks like he’s kinda useless now,” I said, and Stephen nodded.

“Well, there's his cock, but...”

“... really? What would you want with that?”

“True. Let's leave him here until we can think of something fun to do to him.”

So we tied the leash to the wall and left the playroom.

Outside the open door of the playroom I whispered into Stephen's ear:

“I'm not entirely happy leaving him tied up.”

He whispered back:

“I know. But his hands are free and none of the gear is locked, so he can get out of it in a second if he wants to.”

Walking away from the door I said, loud enough for Loki to hear it:

“So, what now?”

“I'm hungry, how about we make dinner? Just the two of us, starve him a little, then humiliate him, make him watch, feed him scraps maybe?”

I felt warmth pool between my thighs and hummed. Walking down the stairs with Stephen behind me I said:

“How's this: we make something he loves but he doesn't get anything, then make him eat something he doesn't particularly like? Oh, wanna jerk off on it before he has to eat it?”

Stephen just grinned.

So we cooked pasta and I made a sauce I knew would make Loki's mouth water, and when we were ready Stephen went to get Loki. He led him to the dining room on all fours and tied him to the leg of the table furthest away from where we sat, ordering him to kneel under the table. Stephen and I laughed and made conversation, even flirted a little. When we were finished we held our plates out for Loki to smell the sauce.

“Too bad you can't use your mouth... would you like to lick them clean?”

He nodded vigorously. I changed the ball gag to a ring gag but made sure he couldn't reach the plates, no matter how far he stuck his tongue out. Laughing at him we told him:

“You'll clean up the kitchen, including the plates. That smell will be all around you and you're not allowed to eat. At all. You'll go to sleep hungry. _After_ we're done with you.”

Stephen pulled him to his feet, and we watched him walk back and forth between the table and the kitchen sink until everything was clean and stored away. And then Stephen went to the living room, sat down on the couch and ordered Loki on his cock. I was sitting next to Stephen, watching, and every now and then I made a comment:

“Aww he's gagging. That's so cute. Do it again, Stephen.”

When Loki's face was covered in tears and drool and he was starting to shake I said:

“Oh Stephen, I just realised: if you come down his throat that's food, right? Wasn't he supposed to go to sleep hungry?”

Stephen pushed Loki's head down.

“That's true, thank you for reminding me.”

“Sure.”

“Hey fucktoy, are you hungry?” I asked him.

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Do you want to eat your master's cum? Should that be your night fodder?”

“Yes, please!”

I lightly slapped Stephen's arm.

“Hey that would be so cheap! You could just fuck his face once or twice a day and that's it! He'd get real skinny and weak if we did that for a few weeks...”

Loki was still kneeling between Stephen's legs with his head down, waiting, listening.

“Yeah but then you wouldn’t be able to do much with him,” Stephen pointed out.

I nodded.

“True. So maybe we _should_ feed him. I'll see what we have.”

I went to the kitchen and put a thin layer of the bitter jam Loki loathed on a slice of untoasted toast and cut it into small pieces. Throwing it into a bowl I took it back to the living room where Stephen was playing with his cock in front of Loki's face. The sub was begging for it but Stephen just grinned. I held up the bowl.

“This should be enough to make him last a while. Wanna add something?”

“Sure.”

Stephen jerked himself off, Loki's eyes glued to his hand, and when Stephen was close I held the bowl for him and he splashed Loki's fodder with his cum. Loki let out a strangled, needy sound.

“Down,” I ordered and put the bowl in front of him. We made him wait, and when he started begging for it we gave him permission and watched him struggle to fish the pieces out of the bowl with his tongue, massively hindered by the ring gag. Of course we had our fun with him, especially Stephen, who was being his own brutal self. I had watched Stephen reduce a sub to a sobbing mess with just his words, and Loki was close to that point. I stepped behind Loki and pulled my plug out of his ass. He stopped eating.

“Why do you stop?” Stephen hissed. “There's my cum on it! You'll eat all of it and lick the bowl clean, fucking ungrateful piece of shit!”

And I shoved the plug back in right after Loki had started lapping at the fodder again. No matter how many times I repeated the move, no matter how much Stephen laid into him, he kept going until the bowl was empty, panting, crying, his face a mess. The moment he was done Stephen switched back to the ball gag and ordered Loki to the corner. We both sat down and Stephen put an arm around me.

“Movie?”

“Sure!”

We made it until the first ad break before Loki made a whiny little sound. I shot Stephen a glance and walked over to him.

“What?”

Of course I couldn't understand him, but he was looking longingly in the direction of the couch.

“Do you want to be closer to us?”

He nodded and his eyes were pleading.

“You're such a needy little slut. After everything we've done to you, you still beg for our attention...”

He didn't make a sound, just kept begging with his eyes, so I led him over there and ordered him to kneel at our feet.

During the next ad break I noticed that he had trouble keeping upright, so I told him to curl up on the floor.

“If you dare fall asleep I'll beat you all night, understand?”

He nodded again, but he was looking at my feet so I pulled him closer and allowed him to rest his cheek on them. Stephen was smiling down on him.

“I like how clingy he is.”

“Yeah, that's kinda funny. No matter what you do to him, he always comes back begging for more.”

“Can you move him the other way around so I can put my feet up?”

“Sure.”

And that's how we finished that movie—Stephen and me snuggled up on the couch, Loki on the floor, supporting Stephen's feet. When the end credits rolled I stood and stretched.

“I'll go to bed.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Wanna say goodnight to the sub?”

“Yeah.”

Stephen took out the gag.

“Thank you, sir,” Loki said, suppressing a sigh of relief, and moved his jaw. And then he did sigh, rolled his shoulders and said:

“Red. Imma hit the shower.”

Stephen nodded and smiled at him.

“Okay. Are you alright?”

Loki smiled back at him.

“You're brutal.”

Stephen grinned.

“I know.”

Turning serious he added:

“You didn't safeword.”

“I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it,” Loki said, the grin on his face widening. “I’m fine. This was glorious, Stephen. Thank you. Have a good night.”

“Goodnight, Loki.”

Stephen looked at me.

“Can I leave the after care to you?”

I nodded and turned to Loki.

“Want me to join you in the shower?”

“Hell yeah.”

In the shower Loki held his face under the stream of water, rubbing himself clean. I reached around him and ran my hands over his ass.

“You're still plugged.”

“M-hm.”

I started playing with the plug and he closed his eyes.

“It's your plug. I can't just take it out.”

“We're not in scene.”

“Still I like the idea of needing your permission.”

“Ask.”

“May I please remove the plug from my ass?”

“Do it slowly. Feel it slip free.”

He did, eyes closed, focused on his breathing.

“Now back in.”

He moaned and obeyed, and I told him to turn around.

“I'm going to fuck you with it. Touch yourself if you like. Let go.”

He leaned his forehead against the wall and started stroking his cock in time with my rhythm, but soon his motions became faster, harder, and when he came he let out a long, deep sigh of relief and sagged against the wall. I kissed his shoulder blade and stepped out of the shower. A moment later he was there, hugging me from behind.

“You didn't have release,” he murmured.

“That's fine. I'm good.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah. I just want my bed. Maybe a little cuddle.”

He straightened and kissed my forehead.

“As you wish. Anything you want.”


	6. Deprived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big step coming up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this might feel gross. Loki loves humilation though :-)

A few months into our three-way arrangement we set aside a long weekend to play together. From the get go Stephen and I made a point of touching each other, hugs, little kisses, his hand on my back. Neither one of us was touching Loki. From day two we stopped talking to him, and from day three he wasn't allowed in our sight. We'd send him texts telling him when to use the bathroom or drink a glass of water, when to get up in the morning and how long to stay awake. We ordered him to set an alarm in the middle of the night and gave him tasks. We ordered him to shave, to work out, what gear to put on and when to edge himself. Obviously, he wasn't allowed release. He hadn't been allowed solid food from day two and none at all from day three. Once per day he was allowed to send one of us a text, character limited. The first one had been to me:

‘i yearn for Your touch, My Lady. i know i won't have it for a long time, and that i have no right to it. The idea that it might be forever is destroying me.’

The next one to Stephen:

‘Master, it breaks me to hear Your voice. If only You were talking to **me** , no matter how harshly. If only i could do anything to be worth being addressed.’

The last one came so late he'd almost missed his time window. And when it did come—to me—we knew why:

‘It was impossible to decide who to address, My Lady. Either way i think i will be punished. You own me, so does Master. i throw myself at Your feet.’

The morning of day four he had to get up at four o'clock and follow a schedule we'd had a lot of fun putting together:

4:00 edge

4:10 drink water

4:20 workout

5:50 water, bathroom

6:00 edge

6:10 shave

6:45 plug

7:00 edge

7:10 watch porn without touching yourself

8:00 water, cold shower

8:10 make breakfast, set the table

9:00 wake Master with blowjob

From then on Stephen gave him directions. While Stephen had breakfast in the kitchen, a collared Loki had to kneel by my bed, holding a tray with my breakfast. After I was done I started teasing him with the leftovers, and he was so desperate for a little food that I put some in his mouth, denying him permission to swallow it though. I waited for a minute and then ordered him to spit it into his hands.

“Do you still want it?”

“Yes, ma'am,” he whispered. It was the first time he'd spoken in three days.

“Lick it up.”

“Thank you, ma'am,” he choked out, true gratitude in his eyes. I watched him greedily lap at the disgusting pulp, cleaning every last bit off his fingers.

“I fed you. From my own food. How are you going to thank me for that?”

I could tell his mind was racing. And when he came up with the one thing he hated I was quite proud of him.

“Would it please you if I filmed myself gagging on the black dildo, my lady?”

I hummed in pleasure.

“Do that, fuckboy. We'll see if it pleases me.”

The gagging itself, the brutal oral training was bad enough, especially after he'd just swallowed food. But he did hate being on camera, having his humiliation documented.

“Do it in the bathroom and send me the video. Think about how to degrade yourself most brutally.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he said, voice shaking. “May I be dismissed?”

“Yes. Leave the tray. You'll clean up later while I show Stephen the video.”

That, I knew, was another blow, and his knees buckled when he stood.

“Down!”

He fell to his knees, bent over and pressed his forehead to the floor.

“Did I give you the impression that I wanted you to move like a human being?”

“No, ma'am, I'm sorry, ma'am. Please may I be punished for my insolence?”

“Hhmm. That video might look even more disgusting if there was evidence of punishment on your body, true.”

So I grabbed his collar and dragged him to the playroom where I beat his face, hands and chest, the parts of his body most likely to be visible in the video. When Stephen joined me to watch I told him about it.

“Oh nice, a way to make money off him!”

“Yup. ‘Punished sub degrading itself on bathroom floor, gagging on gigantic dildo’ should do well on PornHub. Get started, fucktoy.”

Ten minutes later my phone swooshed. And there it was, sitting on my phone to be shared with whoever I wanted: Loki looking at the camera, stating his full name and then kneeling over the open toilet, pushing said dildo down his throat, tears and snot and drool mixing on his face, throwing up into his mouth and swallowing it back down, and when he finally let himself breathe he sat back and pointed the camera to his crotch to showcase his leaking cock. Looking directly into the camera again he said, voice ruined:

“I'm sorry I got hard, my lady. I know I wasn’t supposed to feel pleasure, so may I please be punished again?”

Both Stephen and I had been touching ourselves while we were watching, and that ending tipped both of us over the edge. Panting and grinning we looked at each other.

“He deserves a reward,” Stephen murmured.

‘Get to the playroom,’ I texted Loki.

Loki knelt in front of us, eyes on the floor, waiting to be told if we were satisfied with him. I stroked his hair.

“You deserve your ass fucked. Who do you want it to be?”

His breathing sped up. Stephen leaned in and kissed his temple.

“It's not a trick question, lovely. We want to reward you. So, strap on or cock?”

“I would love your cock, master, but...”

I squatted down and framed his face, getting him to look at me.

“I'll be here, don't worry. I'll hold you in place for your master's cock.”

And so I got to hold Loki while Stephen took position, getting himself hard again.

“That's kinda impressive,” I said, nodding to his fastly growing erection.

“Well, with _this_ view...” Stephen pulled the plug out of Loki's ass. “Ready to have that hole filled for real?”

“Yes,” Loki said, eyes locked with mine. “If you're with me, I can do it.”

My throat closed and I leaned in to kiss him, deep and passionate.

“I love you,” I told him. “Relax. Let yourself be taken.”

He did, closing his eyes for a moment, and then he nodded at me. I looked up to meet Stephen's eyes.

“He's ready to be used.”

The look on Loki's face when Stephen took him; the pride, joy, arousal, the pure bliss of feeling Stephen inside him. This was Loki taking back a piece of who he was, something that had been taken from him. Within minutes he was sobbing so hard that Stephen stilled and looked at me, but before I could do anything Loki whimpered:

“Please don't stop this is so good,” begging Stephen to keep going, over and over until Stephen pulled him flush against his chest and kissed him, soothing him, reassuring him that he wanted him and that he'd give him everything he needed.

Later we were all cuddled up on the bed, and Loki looked at Stephen with heartfelt gratitude.

“This was amazing, Stephen. Thank you.”

“Anytime. You’re most welcome, lovely.”

Loki turned to me and kissed me, sweet, lingering, clinging to me.

“And thank _you_ , too.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“That’s not true and you know it. It was this good—hell it was even _possible—_ because you were there. Holding me. Making me feel safe. I owe you both.”


	7. Multi Tasking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short one

During out next weekend together I realised I hadn’t seen the guys for a while, so I called out:

“Fucktoy?”

No reaction.

“Don't make me call for you more than once, you useless piece of shit!”

Still nothing from Loki, but instead I heard Stephen, voice thick with lust:

“I don't think he can talk right now.”

I chuckled and went to find them. I did find Stephen balls deep down Loki's throat, mercilessly pressing the sub's head to his groin. I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe and watched, arms crossed over my chest.

“How long can he go without breathing?”

“Not long enough. It's kinda annoying having to let him breathe before I've come. Actually, the rule should be if he wants to breathe, he’d better make me come. He's getting better though.”

“But I am kinda disappointed he's not answering me, you know? I mean how hard can it be to do more than one simple task at a time?”

Stephen pulled out and presented his cock.

“Rock hard I'd say,” he said with a grin, while Loki used the moment to draw air into his lungs.

“Cheap, Stephen. Cheap.”

“Oh come on.”

“I was just thinking, maybe it might be fun to train him to multi task,” I mused.

Stephen pulled Loki back onto his cock.

“Like, recite the days of the week while sucking cock?”

“Yeah, something like that. Might _feel_ nice, too?”

“Oh yes.”

I pushed off the door frame.

“Anyway, when you're finished sent him over, will you?”

“Sure! I mean he's yours anyway.”

“Oh Stephen. I love you. What's mine is yours, you know that.”  
“Aaww thanks.”

“I'll just try and come up with a few lines for him because lord I wanna know what he sounds like after a throat fuck like that.”


	8. Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well. what it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have to be brave now.

And then, one afternoon, Loki dropped the bomb on me. He told me he’d like to go see Stephen. Do a scene without me. I was shell-shocked. Couldn’t believe it. I felt confused and betrayed. Irritated. Angry, actually.

“I thought you 'couldn't.'” I made air quotes, and my voice sounded like venom. “All that talk about how scared you are. How much you needed me. And as soon as a hot guy turns up, you can't dump me fast enough to get on his cock.”

Loki stared at me.

“He's the first guy since... since I was fucking raped!”

He never said it, never used that word. Now he was throwing it in my face.

“The first top I'm attracted to. I thought you'd be happy that I have a chance to get that part of myself back.”

He was really pissed and I realised I had never seen that before. I also never really realised how tall he was. And he was getting angrier by the minute, lashing out like an injured animal.

“Or are you the only one allowed to help me heal? Is that it? Wanna feel like my saviour? Keep me under your boot? I'm sick of owing you! I feel like I'm nothing without you, and you feel it too, don't you? Pathetic little piece of shit unable to function with anyone but you.”

All of a sudden, I felt tired and close to tears.

“That's not what I meant.”

“Well what _did_ you mean? You basically called me a slut, so maybe I should just live up to that.”

Grabbing his keys and jacket he made for the door.

“Loki. For fuck's sake. You're not actually running out on me now!”

He paused in the door.

“See this? Running.”

And he slammed the door and was gone. Fuck. What the hell had gotten into me? I did feel happy about him wanting to play with Stephen. It had simply caught me off guard, that was all. Right? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and suddenly there were tears.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I shouldn't have said that.”

Pulling my phone from my pocket I blinked a few times and texted him exactly that. The moment I sent the text I heard a familiar sound from the living room. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He'd left his phone.

When mine made the familiar swooshing sound a while later I couldn’t grab it fast enough. Stephen.

'Loki just showed up on my doorstep. Just wanted to let you know that he's safe.'

I felt almost sick with relief.

'Thank god. Thank **you** for telling me. I don't suppose he wants to talk to me?'

'Sorry...'

'Okay. Just please take care of him?'

Over the next hour relief turned into restlessness and jealousy. Yes, for fuck's sake, I was jealous. My stupid brain treated me to a series of images I would normally have found extremely hot, but now they just hurt. I missed him. I was mad at him. I hated myself. And I was scared shitless. What if I lost him? Had I maybe already lost him? To Stephen? Would Stephen do that? Hell, why not? They liked each other. They were good together. It hurt so much I wanted to smash something. Or someone. I started crying harder than I had in a long time, violent sobs that ripped at my throat and chest.


	9. Shades of Strange: A Crossover Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so here's the thing: my first person POV is biting me in the butt again. So y'all will have to think of this chapter as a crossover episode of "Bruises: Phase Two" and a new, spin-off show called "Shades of Strange". Have I lost you already?
> 
> spin-off parts in italics, btw

_Loki was sitting on Stephen’s couch, staring at the drink in his hand. He’d been sitting and staring for a good while without ever lifting the glass to his mouth. And without saying anything. Stephen cleared his throat._

_“Wanna tell me what happened?”_

_Loki huffed out a bitter, humourless laugh and shook his head._

_“I just realised you're the one person I can't tell. Should probably have considered that minor detail before I barged in on you. I’m sorry.”_

_He stood and put down his untouched drink. Stephen went pale. He stood as well._

_“What, me? Did it have anything to do with me?”_

_Loki just stared at nothing, shoulders sagging._

_“She called me a slut.”_

_“She what? I assume not in the hot as hell ‘degrade me to nothing’ kind of way? I mean—not in scene?”_

_“No. Straight to my face after me opening up about something that means the world to me, something I was terrified to address.”_

_“Whoa wait a second, that sounds so, so wrong! Is this some gigantic misunderstanding?”_

_Loki shook his head._

_“Look I know you two are close and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It was idiotic to come to you of all people and I'm sorry. I'll get out of your hair.”_

_“No, please don't. It's okay if you don't want to discuss it. That doesn't mean you can't stay.”_

_Loki looked so lost that it broke Stephen's heart._

_“I'd really like to hold you but I don't want to make it worse, so I'm not sure...”_

_“Yes, please.”_

_Stephen pulled him into a hug, and Loki buried his face in Stephen's shoulder._

_“You love her, don't you?” Stephen asked softly.  
_

_“She's everything.”_

_“And she loves_ you _.”_

_Loki pulled back._

_“I thought she did but I'm an idiot obviously. If she did why would she stab me in the back like that? I was so dumb, thinking I was good enough, smart enough, funny enough to be—loved. Instead of just fucked. Apparently, I was wrong.”_

_“Loki, hey, easy. I refuse to believe that she's been playing you. You guys need to talk to each other. You will get through this. You both have a temper and you're probably just as stubborn as she is, but don't ruin this. Don't throw away what you have. Believe me you'll regret it for the rest of your life.”_

_Stephen's phone vibrated. The text message said:_

_'Can you please tell him I'm sorry? I had no right to say the things I said. They were brutal and hurtful and blatantly untrue, and I'm sorry I made him that angry. Please?'_

_Stephen wordlessly showed it to Loki who stared at the phone for an eternity. And then he rolled his shoulders._

_“Can I use your phone?”_

_“Of course,” Stephen said gently and handed it over. “I'll be in the kitchen.”_

When my phone rang and showed Stephen’s number, I had no idea what to expect. I tried to swallow around the dry lump in my throat and picked it up, hands shaking. For a horrible moment there was nothing. And then Loki said:

“I’ll stay at Stephen’s place.”

Oh god. I’d lost him.

“Loki, please. I’m sorry. Please come home so we can talk.”

“I need a bit of space. And time, probably.”

“Okay. Sure. I understand.”

Silence on the other end.

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“You will be coming back, right? Eventually?”

He heaved a sigh.

“I guess. I don’t know. I really don’t want to do this right now.”

That fucking hurt.

“Do what, talk to me?”

“Yes. Talk to you. On the phone. About how you fucking broke my heart. Not to mention the rules, by the way.”

And that hurt, too. Because he was right. He _was_ allowed to play with others. The nagging feeling I’ve had for a while was getting stronger, and I knew what it was.

I hardly slept that night, kept checking my phone, composed a million messages and deleted them again. The morning went by without me doing much, and by noon I was so restless that I considered showing up at Stephen’s. Yeah, great. They’d _both_ hate me for that. I must have fallen asleep on the couch, because I woke up to the sound of Loki’s key turning in the lock of my front door. I sat up and took a breath, and then I stood so that I wouldn’t have to look up at him. Well, not by too much anyway.

He came to the living room and just stood in the doorway, keys in hand, looking more tired than angry. I took a few steps towards him.

“Hey,” I said, carefully keeping my voice steady. Ah fuck that. “I’m glad you’re here.”

He took a deep breath.

“Yeah. Me too.”

He did sound tired.

“Can I… go first?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“Okay. So. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I was an idiot, and I was jealous. Insecure. Scared that I might lose you. I was unfair and immature. You didn’t deserve any of that. You were following the rules, and still I lashed out at you. I’m sorry, Loki. I love you.”

I desperately tried to remember all the things I had rehearsed, but most of my speech was gone.

Loki swallowed and took a step closer.

“It hurt. The things you said, the way it made me feel, that was painful.”

“I know.”

“Most of all it was unfair. I did play by the rules. I didn’t deserve to be punished.”

“That’s right.”

I didn’t want to admit it, but there was no way around it. Bracing myself for his reaction I said:

“We agreed on an open relationship as far as kinky play is concerned, and I failed to live up to that.”

My palms were sweaty. I was stalling. He beat me to it:

“You didn’t think I’d take you up on it.”

Damn it. I nodded.

“That I was too fucked up to even try. To even _want_ to play with someone else. Or maybe you thought I would never even feel the need because you’re everything I could ever want.”

Fuck. That really hurt because it was true, and admitting that hurt even more. But before I could admit it out loud, Loki deflated.

“And you were right. You _were_ my everything.”

Past tense. Shit.

“You still are. I’m aware of how pathetic that is, and I’ve tried to not feel it, but…”

I kissed him. He froze for a fraction of a second, and when he responded to the kiss, I felt tears on my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips. “Please. Can you please forgive me, Loki?”

“Why did this happen? Are you really unwilling to let me play? Do we need to change the rules?”

I almost _jerked_ back.

“God, no! Oh my god, Loki, that can’t be the take-away from this! How could I… I don’t _want_ to keep you from playing with Stephen! Or anyone else, for that matter. It’s me, love. _I_ broke the rules. It’s for you to decide if you can condone that. Can you?”

He looked at me for longer than I was comfortable with, but I forced myself to keep the eye contact. And then he pulled me into a hug.

“Yes. I can. I accept your apology,” he murmured against my neck.

I felt so relieved that I thought I might be sick, but I refused to let go of him, willing my stomach to calm down.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered, rubbing circles on my back. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced. He pulled back to look at me, and when he saw my face he sat me down on the couch.

“Stay.”

Somewhere in the back of my head I recognised that tone as dominant, but I didn’t question it. I just nodded. A moment later Loki was back with a glass of water. I took small sips, clinging to the smooth surface with both hands. Loki sat down next to me and started rubbing my back again.

“Are we okay?” I asked without looking at him.

He let out a sigh.

“Yes. Yes, we are. I love you. And please excuse the tone.”

I started to grin.

“It worked.”

“I noticed.”

I chuckled and put the glass down so I could snuggle up to him.

“Don’t get ideas.”

“I always have ideas.”

That made me laugh. We sat in silence for a while, and then I said:

“Wanna call Stephen? Give him the all-clear?”

Loki straightened.

“Good idea. He’ll be worried.”

I smiled.

“Not what I meant.”

Loki just looked at me.

“I mean, yes, he’d probably be relieved to hear that we made up, but what I meant was—call him to say that you boys can get started. You still want that, don’t you?”

“Yes. I do. God, yes.”

And that was the last thing I heard from Loki for almost an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. I'm glad they got their shit together, because they are too good to break apart. And also - potentially more Stephen/Loki in the future!


	10. Shades of Strange: Guy on Guy Playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, what it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember that this is post “Thor”, kind of *instead* of “Avengers”, so IW never happened! Just saying. (Thanks to jotunemo for pointing it out.)

_Loki arrived at Stephen’s house, nervous but excited. When Stephen opened the door they both started to smile._

_“Hey,” Loki said, smile widening._

_“Hey. I’m so glad you’re here.”_

_They stepped inside and went to the living room._

_“It’s really good to see you, Stephen.”_

_They hugged, a gentle, almost tender little touch that was over too fast. Loki cleared his throat._

_“How do you feel about this? Me being here?”_

_“I couldn’t wait. I’m excited, and happy… and a little nervous.”_

_“Yeah, me too.”_

_“It’s your first time playing with a man in a long time. Alone.”_

_“Yes. It’s been so long it feels like another life. But that’s not… I mean, partly, of course, but more than anything I want this to be good. For you, I mean.”_

_Stephen smiled at him, soft and sweet._

_“Same here. So, what do you need to get over your nerves?”_

_Loki bit his lip._

_“Okay, lovely, first rule: I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you want. It highly increases the chances of getting it.”_

_Loki still didn’t answer._

_“Loki?”_

_“It’s ridiculous.”_

_“I’m almost positive it’s not. Tell me. What do you want?”_

_“Could you… give me a spanking? Please? I mean, right now?”_

_Stephen’s eyebrows went up._

_“Oh wow, not wasting any time! To be honest I was thinking more along the lines of easing you in.”_

_“And being spanked would do just that. Easy me in. Familiar ground. Also it usually calms me down.”_

_“Huh. Okay… are you absolutely sure?”_

_“Yes, I am.”_

_“Because while I’m willing to give you what you want, you have to be aware there are rules to this. Being over my lap must be earned. We’re not there yet. So you’ll be standing up.”_

_The tone wasn’t lost on Loki._

_“Yes, sir,” he said, voice dropping lower._

_“Fine then. Drop the pants. Don’t take them off, just push them to your ankles.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“Pull your shirt up and hold it out of the way. Brace yourself against the wall with your other hand.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Loki did as he was told, feet apart, back arched, ass sticking out._

_“Further apart.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Stephen hummed appreciatively and ran his hands over Loki’s cheeks._

_“Pretty.”_

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_“And polite.”_

_“It’s the way I was trained, sir.”_

_“I like it. Anyway. Since this is your first time I’ll leave the choice of weapon to you. Pick.”_

_Loki hesitated._

_“Does it have to be a tool, sir?”_

_“Ah, I see. You want my hands.”_

_Loki’s breath came out on a little whimper._

_“Please?”_

_Running his fingernails over Loki’s skin Stephen purred:_

_“I’m not sure you deserve that.”_

_“Yes, sir. I’m sorry I was too bold. Do I still get to choose?”_

_“No. I will choose for you, but don’t worry. I know what’s best for you.”_

_“Yes, sir, thank you, sir.”_

_Stephen took position behind Loki. For a long time he just caressed Loki’s ass and thighs, the small of his back and even his balls. And then, while his left hand was kneading Loki’s cheek, he smacked him with his right. Hard. Loki let out a startled little sound and flinched away. Immediately Stephen grabbed his hip and pulled him back into position._

_“First: do not move away from anything I give you, ever. Understood?”_

_“Yes, sir, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”_

_“And second: give me a number.”_

_When Loki didn’t react right away, he was smacked again._

_“Pain scale.”_

_“Four. I’m sorry I didn’t understand your command, sir.”_

_Stephen hummed again, rubbing Loki’s cheek._

_“I really like your attitude, sweetie.”_

_“Thank you, sir. You’re very generous with your praise.”_

_Stephen chuckled._

_“Starved, are we? Your mistress not massage your ego enough?”_

_“I don’t usually manage to earn her praise, sir.”_

_Stephen was grinning._

_“Pretty, polite_ and _diplomatic. You’re a very dangerous little toy… alright. Enough talk. Let’s give you what you deserve. Give me a number whenever we leave ‘four’ territory, no matter if it’s up or down. ‘Yellow’ if you need a break. Understood?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_And for the next few minutes Stephen spanked Loki’s cheek—still the same one. Always the same one. Loki was whimpering, desperately trying to hold still. They had reached seven on the pain scale when Loki started pleading._

_“Please what?”_

_“Please do my other cheek, too, sir.”_

_Stephen chuckled and stroked Loki’s left cheek._

_“This one?”_

_“Yes, sir, please?”_

_“Bugs you, doesn’t it? Being off balance?”_

_“It feels… odd, sir. Wrong. Please?”_

_Stephen dropped to his knees and dragged his tongue over Loki’s left cheek, followed by his teeth and lips._

_“Please,” Loki whimpered._

_“Makes it worse, doesn’t it?”_

_“Yes,” Loki whispered._

_“Makes your brain do weird stuff.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“So do you want the caress on the right or the pain on the left?”_

_When Loki didn’t answer, Stephen pulled back. No contact. Loki let out a strangled, frustrated noise._

_“Subs who can’t make up their mind get nothing. Pull your pants up.”_

_Loki turned around._

_“What? No! You can’t—”_

_Stephen grabbed Loki’s throat and pushed him into the wall._

_“Those are the exact three words I will not tolerate from a pathetic little piece of shit like you. Certainly not all at once. You will_ never _say ‘no’, ‘what?’ or ‘can’t’ to me again. Are we absolutely fucking clear on this, fuckhole?”_

_On the last word, Stephen tightened his grip even further. Loki’s eyes started to water and he nodded as best he could. Stephen let go._

_“Position.”_

_Loki turned back to face the wall and took position again._

_“Twenty minutes. That’s how long I will leave you here so you can think about what you did.”_

_Before Stephen had reached the door Loki murmured ‘yellow.’ Immediately Stephen rushed back. A gentle hand on Loki’s shoulder he said:_

_“What?”_

_“I can’t take this, Stephen. Please. Can you please finish the spanking? Please? I do understand what you’ve taught me. I promise I’ll never be disrespectful again. Please?”_

_“You don’t want the time-out?”_

_“I don’t want you to be mad at me before we’ve even started.”_

_Stephen heaved a sigh._

_“Turn. Look at me.”_

_Loki complied, and Stephen framed his face with both hands._

_“I’m not mad. You will take the time-out though. Afterwards you’ll get your spanking. Clear?”_

_Loki nodded, relief all over his face._

_“Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome. Colour?”_

_“Green, sir.”_

_“Fine then. Position. Twenty minutes. And by the way, telling you how long it’s going to be? That’s another rookie bonus.”_

_Stephen left Loki to his time-out and went to make himself a cup of tea, and then his phone rang._

_“Hey, I just wanted... can I ask you a favour?”_

_“Hi! How are you? I’m fine, thank you.”_

_“I’m sorry, Stephen. It’s important though. Please?”_

_Stephen grinned._

_“Sure. Favour?”_

_“Can you please make sure that he's hydrated? I know how that sounds. You must think I have no trust in your experience at all but that's totally not true. It's just that... if he's badly dehydrated, and he tends to get that way if you don't make him drink enough water, he's likely to panic. God this doesn't make any sense.”_

_“Hey, slow down, okay? What is this about?”_

_“I don't know how much he told you... I mean I'm sure you've talked about limits but I don't know how much he told you about the reasons. And withholding water from him was... part of… a past abuse, if you want to call it that. So, please just force him to drink water whether he thinks he needs it or not, okay? Make it a task, or… I don’t…ah, hell, I don't want either of you to have to deal with a panic attack. I'm sorry. It's just...”_

_“_ _Love, are you having second thoughts? About him playing with me?”_

_“No! I'm just trying to keep him safe. I know you've got tons of experience and so does he but... I love him, Stephen. He's special. I don't want him to get hurt.”_

_“Neither do I. I’ll take care of him. I promise.”_

_“Okay. Thank you. I’m really sorry. I’ll get out of your hair. Have fun.”_

_Stephen hung up with a smile and poured a glass of water, an idea forming in his head._

_“Have you learned your lesson?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Stephen moved in, his breath fanning over Loki's neck._

_“Good boy.”_

_“Thank you, sir.”._

_“Do you like that? Being called a good boy?”_

_Voice soft, Loki admitted:_

_“Yes, sir. I like it a lot. It makes me feel so good.”_

_“Turn around.”_

_When Loki did, Stephen handed him the water._

_“Drink.”_

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_He took a few sips._

_“Rule: I decide what goes into your body. I hand you water, you drink it. All of it. No questions, no discussion, no hesitation. Now drink up.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Stephen took the empty glass from Loki._

_“Repeat the lesson you learned during the time-out.”_

_“I will not be disrespectful to you, be it in tone or phrasing, and I will not tell you what you can and cannot do.”_

_“And?”_

_“I will not say 'no',” Loki added, head lowered, eyes on the floor. “May I ask a question, master?”_

_“Ask.”_

_“Do you mean that literally? That I'm not allowed to use the word 'no' even when you ask me a question?”_

_Stephen started to grin._ What an excellent idea _... he banned the grin from his voice._

_“That’s exactly what I mean.”_

_Spanking dealt with Stephen held Loki for a long time, caressing him, listening to him breathe. Loki was quiet at first, but after a while they started talking about what they wanted to do over the course of the weekend, and eventually they got up and had dinner together. Stephen was a little worried about the state of Loki’s backside, but Loki just gave him a smug smile and said he liked being reminded of a spanking by having to sit on his sore ass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are they good together or what?


	11. Shades of Strange: Begging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> barely any pain, but kind of a lot of humilation

_When Loki emerged from the guestroom the next morning, Stephen had breakfast ready. Over breakfast they talked a bit more about the scene they wanted to do, and when the table was cleared, Stephen looked at Loki._

_“Are you ready?”_

_“Yes, I am. My safewords are yellow and red.”_

_“Good. I hope you won’t need them, but please promise me you’ll use them if you do.”_

_“Promise.”_

_“Good.”_

_Stephen straightened._

_“Go to the guestroom and strip. Put your clothes neatly away. Kneel. And wait for instructions.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Stephen called for Loki after making him wait for half an hour. He put leather cuffs on him and linked them behind Loki’s back, and then he started teasing him until he was leaking._

_“You like what I’m doing to you?”_

_“Yes, sir, I like it a lot.”_

_“I kinda like it, too. Wonder how long you can hold that erection.”_

_Loki’s jaw set and he breathed out through his nose, well aware of what was coming. Stephen went to get himself some water. Then he made himself comfortable on the couch. And then he picked up a book. Loki stood, hands behind his back, fully hard, but completely ignored, for twenty minutes. After that Stephen glanced at Loki’s cock, hummed appreciatively, and went back to reading. The next time Stephen looked up he frowned. Putting the book aside he stood and cupped Loki’s balls._

_“Already?” he asked._

_“I’m sorry, sir.”_

_“I see you need more—motivation. Kneel.”_

_When Loki sank to his knees in front of him, Stephen stroked himself a few times through his jeans. Loki licked his lips, eyes glued to Stephen’s hand. It made Stephen grin._

_“Hungry?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Stephen just hummed and kept rubbing his groin. Loki knelt, lips parted, a growing hunger in his eyes, getting back to a full hard-on without being touched. Eventually he couldn’t hold back anymore._

_“Master?” he whispered._

_“What?”_

_“Please can I have your cock, sir? Please?”_

_Stephen didn’t say anything, just kept stroking himself._

_“Please let me suck your cock, sir. Please. Please!”_

_Stephen let Loki beg for a few minutes before he said:_

_“No.”_

_“Please, master, please!” Loki leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Stephen's groin. “Please, sir.”_

_Stephen pulled back._

_“No!”_

_“I'll do anything, please just give me your cock, sir, please, I'm begging you!”_

_“You want my cock?”_

_“Yes, I do, sir. I want it so bad. Please, sir. Please!”_

_“What do you want with it?”_

_“I wanna lick it, sir, suck it, swallow it down and gag on it. I wanna suck it dry, make you spill your cum down my throat. Please may I, sir? Please?”_

_Stephen spit into Loki's face and slapped him a few times._

_“Can you guess which word in your little speech is sitting wrong with me?”_

_Before Loki could even begin to replay his words in his head Stephen slapped him again._

_“Come on, fucktoy, use that one brain cell.”_

_And again._

_“Please, sir,” Loki panted between blows, “please stop hitting me so I can think.”_

_Stephen laughed._

_“Nope.”_

_Another series of blows._

_“You will think_ while _I hit you. I'm waiting.”_

_“'Want,' maybe, sir?”_

_“Nope.” More spitting, more face slaps. Loki desperately tried to remember what he'd said. And then the penny dropped._

_“'Make!' I think it was 'make,' sir. The idea that I could_ make _you do anything, that I have any kind of power over you. Is that it? Was that my mistake?”_

_“Finally. Took you long enough.”_

_Loki bent over, his forehead touching the floor._

_“Would you please spill your cum down my throat, master,” he whispered. “Please.”_

_“As you wish,” Stephen hissed, opened his pants and pulled Loki up by his hair. “Start licking.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Before Loki could get to work, Stephen forced his eyes up._

_“Colour?”_

_“Bright green, my lord and master!”_

_Stephen chuckled._

_“You're a sick bastard. Fine then. Earn your keep.”_

_“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”_

_They spent the rest of the day talking, hanging out, going for a walk, and did another scene in the evening. Later that night, while an old Stargate episode was playing, they had a few glasses of wine and talked, and Loki retreated to bed early._


	12. Shades of Strange: Once in a Lifetime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short one, but emotional :-)

_The next morning after breakfast, when they were saying goodbye, Loki smiled at Stephen._

_“So are we going to do this again?”_

_Stephen swallowed and cleared his throat._

_“I kinda imagined this to be a once in a lifetime experience.”_

_“Oh. Okay. Sorry.”_

_“No! God no, I didn't mean I_ want _it to be a onetime thing! Just... when I prepared for this weekend I thought...” Stephen took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “I suck at this. I'm sorry.”_

_Loki gave him a half smile._

_“I remember someone telling me that it increases the chances of getting what you want if you actually say it.”_

_“Must have been a real wise man.”_

_“M-hm. So.”_

_Burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans Loki asked:_

_“What do you want, Stephen?”_

_Stephen took a breath._

_“I would_ love _for you to come back. Spend time with you. Play some more. So, hell yeah,_ please _let’s do this again_!”


	13. Praise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is back home :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: flash back to Loki's torture trauma

Sunday night in bed I curled up against Loki’s side.

“Anything you did with Stephen that you'd like to integrate into _our_ scenes?”

It took him a while, but then he said:

“Praise.”

“Right. We've talked about this before. I'm sorry I forgot. I guess I just couldn't imagine that with a humiliation kink as big as yours there would be room for a praise kink, too.”

“I don't usually think of it as a kink. It's probably just me being pathetic.”

“Loki, no! There's nothing pathetic about wanting praise!”

I could tell he didn't agree. So I gave him a long look and switched to ‘Domme voice’:

“Okay fine. You will repeat back to me what I tell you, no questions, no objections.”

He swallowed and nodded.

“Yes, ma'am.”

“You're strong.”

“I'm... strong.”

“You're smart.”

“I'm smart.”

“You're beautiful.”

He broke eye contact.

“I said repeat back to me.”

“I'm beautiful.”

Low, without conviction.

“I want to learn from you.”

“You want to learn from me?”

“Don't make it a question. It's a statement. A fact.”

“You want to learn from me.”

Surprised and a little insecure, but also curious.

”What exactly would you like to learn from me?”

I smiled at him.

“What goes on in your head. How your mind works. How to avoid triggering you. How to handle the situation in case I do trigger you. How to be the partner you need. I want to know who you are. Who you used to be. Tell me about your past.”

“I'm starting to regret this.”

“Sorry. Not talking about your past. I'm sorry.”

I took a breath.

“What would you _like_ to tell me?”

It was obvious that he was fighting, so I just kissed his temple and waited.

“Can I tell you about that day I scalded myself?” he finally said, eyes somewhere in the middle distance, voice flat. I swallowed.

“Of course. If you want to. Is there any risk of triggering yourself by telling me?”

He sighed.

“Possible. But unlikely.”

“Okay.”

And then I just waited, scared of being given a glimpse into the darkest part of Loki’s mind, unsure if I’d be able to handle that.

“It was stupid, really,” he began, his tone a lot lighter than I had expected. Was he putting on a brave face? Probably. “I was making tea, in the afternoon. I just wanted some time to myself, reading, maybe watching a movie—and tea. So when the water boiled I took the kettle but somehow misjudged its weight, which totally makes no sense at all because I use that kettle three times a day…” He trailed off, remaining silent for a little while. When he went on, his voice was flat, tense, and his breath was shallow. “The kettle slipped from my hand, a bit of the boiling water hit my arm, and I flinched and knocked against the falling kettle and all the remaining water gushed over my left arm, from wrist to elbow.” He ran his fingertips over his arm without noticing it, and then his fingers curled and he started scratching himself, again and again until his fingernails had left angry red lines on his pale skin.

“Hey,” I said as gently as I could, putting my hand over his to still his movement. He looked at me, confused and slightly irritated, and then his gaze dropped and he looked at our hands and at the marks on his skin as if he had no idea how they had gotten there. He drew a deep breath and freed his arm.

“Anyway. The moment the boiling water was scalding my skin I was gone. Pushed under. Trapped in a hellhole of pain and despair. I panicked, and then I must have gone into shock because the next thing I remember is sitting on the kitchen floor in a now cold puddle of water, my arm hurting like a bitch, bright red, skin burned away, raw flesh visible.”

I forcefully swallowed down the bile rising in my throat. Loki didn’t notice. He appeared completely calm, but he was in his own world.

“I knew I had to do something about it, but I couldn’t for the life of me imagine what that might be. I spent all night sitting on my kitchen floor. I had a few more flashbacks, like drifting in and out of a nightmare. Fucking realistic nightmares. Heat. Pain. Terror. Being pushed until you break, and then some. Laughter. I was paralysed. Defenceless. Pathetic. There was no way out, ever…”

He took a breath.

“In the morning something scared me to death, the doorbell maybe or my phone, I don’t remember, and after that I definitely had another panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, the pain was swallowing me, not just my arm, my whole body, and I kept hearing that voice in my head. The voice of the… His voice. My… torturer’s. He told me this was just the beginning, that He was just waiting for me to catch my breath, and then the real pain would begin. He said there was nothing I could do, nothing I could give Him that would make it stop. He just wanted to break me. There was no interrogation. I was supposed to break, and I did. I begged Him… I’m not sure if that was I my head as well or if I said it out loud… I begged Him to let me go…I couldn’t… I just couldn’t take…”  
A sob tore its way from his chest, and then he started shaking. When I reached out to put my arms around him he jerked back, retreating as far as he could until his back hit the bed’s headboard, eyes huge, chest rising and falling in an unnaturally fast rhythm. I felt tears prick my eyes but blinked them back furiously.

“Loki, please, you need to calm down. Please breathe, okay?”

“I can’t… I’m just…”

I realised what I had just said and suppressed the impulse to hit myself in the head. I had to do better. He needed me. I tried again.

“Just focus on my voice, okay? I’m not going to touch you. Try to focus on me. Can you do that for me? You’re safe. Nothing can hurt you here, and nothing will. It’s me. I love you, and I’m here for you. Just you and me, remember?”

Nothing. If anything, he was panicking even more. Maybe he did need my touch. Very, very slowly I reached out.

“I’m going to take your hand, okay?”

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t pull back either. I took his hand as gently as I could and put it on my chest, making a point of taking deep, slow breaths.

“You’re safe,” I repeated. “See? Just me. Just you and me. Feel my breath. You’re safe. I know you’re scared right now, but it will pass. I’ll be here for as long as you need me. Can you feel me breathe?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, and then he gave me a tiny nod. Thank god. For a while afterwards it still felt like it was pointless, but eventually his breathing did slow down and became a little deeper, and then he closed his eyes, shoulders relaxing, and took one long breath. When he exhaled, he let his head fall back against the headboard.

“Sorry,” he said. He sounded completely exhausted. “Obviously I did trigger myself. I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

I ignored his apology.

“Is it getting better?”

He nodded, eyes still closed.

“Yes. Getting there.”

“What do you need?”

He just shook his head. I got up to get him a glass of water, but before I even made it out of bed his eyes flew open.

“Please!”

I froze.

“What?”

“Please don’t go away right now.”

He wasn’t looking at me, embarrassed to look weak, fists clenched so hard that his knuckles were white. “Please,” he repeated, and the pain in his voice broke me. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I crawled back into bed and sat next to him without touching him.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and I knew how hard that had to be.

I wanted nothing more than to hold him, do something, anything but feel absolutely useless.

“Please tell me what you need,” I said, trying to sound as calm as I could despite the tears running down my face. Nothing. He just didn’t answer me. Maybe he didn’t know himself. Or maybe I was supposed to know. All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe myself. Beside me Loki slid down and laid on his back, and then he turned and put his head on my thigh. Without even thinking about it I raised my hand and started stroking his hair, and then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to touch him and pulled back. Or was I?

“Loki, do you _want_ me to touch you?”

He nodded, a motion so small I almost missed it, and when I ran my fingers through his hair I thought I felt him relax a little.

“This is horrible,” he said after a while, and I stopped caressing his hair. He huffed out a breath that might have been a laugh.

“No, I mean this whole thing. It’s so pathetic, and exhausting, and I hate when it happens.”

“I know.”

I went back to caressing him, and he moved into my touch.

“Please don’t stop. It feels so good.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and bent down to press a gentle kiss against his temple.

“Next time… I mean… I mean _if_ this ever happens again,” I began, unsure what I was even trying to say.

“It most probably will,” he said. It was a statement without any specific inflection. Just stating a fact. I bit my lip and tried again.

“So, next time…what do you want me to do?”

“It’s so hard for me to _know_ what I need, let alone communicate it, in the middle of an attack.”

“I know. I mean I guess it would be. Is it any easier now? When it’s over?”

“Yes.” He sighed. “You did well, you know. Making me breath. Showing me, I mean.”

“Instead of telling you to.”

“Yeah. Grounding me. I’m dying for a gentle touch when I’m like that. It calms me. Grounds me, makes me feel less worthless. Makes me believe that someone cares.”

There was a lot to unpack there, but I could tell that he was tired. So I just said:

”I do.”

For a while he didn’t say anything, absentmindedly running his fingertips up and down my leg, and then he suddenly picked up where he had left off earlier:

“I’m not sure how long it took me until I managed to pick up the phone and call my therapist. A while. When I finally went to see her, my arm had already healed.”

“She didn’t believe you?!”

“What? No, she did. It’s just… by the time I made it to her office it felt unreal to _me_. As if it never happened. Judging from the bone-deep exhaustion I was still feeling—it _had_ been real though.”

He didn’t say much after that, but bit by bit the tension started leaving his body until his breathing became deep and even and I realised he’d fallen asleep. I sat for a long time, not wanting to wake him up, and only moved when I felt my leg go numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to jotunemo for helping me with the panic attack scene. Any mistakes that might still there happened *after* she helped me and are my responsibility.


	14. Eating Out II - Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets what he wants.

One night Loki looked up from his laptop.

“Remember the night we went out and kinda shocked the waiter?”

I winced.

“Yeah. I do.”

“Well I’d like to do that again, but minus shocking anyone. And now I found something. There’s this restaurant that holds a private function once a month for a kinky crowd. Maybe Stephen would like to go, too? What do you think?”

It turned out Stephen very much wanted to go, and that’s how all three of us ended up in a cosy little restaurant on a Friday night. Loki took point and was immediately approached by a middle aged woman with a clipboard in her hand. She smiled at him and then, over his shoulder, at Stephen and me.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Hello. Reservation for Liesmith, please?”

She checked the list on her clipboard.

“Here we are. Three people.”

“That would be us.”

“Great! Welcome to the ‘Tavern on State’! If any of you want to lose some clothes or change into something else, please step in here.”

She gestured to a door leading away from the entrance area. Stephen stepped forward. Putting his hand on Loki’s hip he said:

“I'm good, but the sub needs to lose some clothing.”

I knew what he was doing, and it worked. I could see it in the subtle change of Loki’s posture. _The sub_ nodded and disappeared through the door the lady had indicated. When he emerged a few minutes later he was holding his neatly folded clothes.

“I'm ready, ma'am,” he said.

I took his clothes from him and let my gaze travel over his almost naked body. A leather thong was the only piece of clothing Stephen and I had agreed on allowing him besides the broad black leather bracelet around his right wrist and the leather collar. Underneath the thong he was plugged and bound, and there was a reasonable chance that he would be ordered to lose the thong at some point. I attached a chain to the collar’s front ring and turned towards the main room, absolutely no doubt in my mind that Loki would obediently follow me.

Stephen was sitting at a table for three, looking our way.

“I asked the waitress to leave the third chair, is that ok with you?”

“Sure. We'll see how he behaves when he's allowed to use furniture.”

A soon as we were all seated, a waiter brought us two menus. Handing them to me and to Stephen he asked:

“Would you like a third?”

“No, that’s fine, thank you. The sub doesn’t get to choose.”

“Very well, ma’am. Can I get you an appetiser?”

Stephen and I had already agreed on me staying sober, so I let him choose and just ordered a glass of juice and a bottle of water. While we were studying the menu I noticed that Loki was squirming in his seat. I gave him a stern look, but a minute later it started again.

“What.”

“May I please make a request, ma’am?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I would like to kneel, if I may, ma’am.”

Stephen looked up from his menu.

“Huh. I thought you’d be grateful.”

“I am, sir. But it feels wrong to be sitting at a table with you. I feel like my place is by your feet, sir.”

Stephen looked at me, eyebrows raised. I shrugged.

“The sub does have a point. Fine then, kneel. Next to my chair.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He settled in by my side, and from the corner of my eye I could see him relax.

“Thank you, my lady,” he whispered.

I gently stroked his hair, my hand coming to rest on the collar.

“You’re welcome.”

He turned his head to move into my touch. I grabbed his chin and forced his eyes up.

“Anything else you need?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Fine. Kneel down then.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He bent over, forehead touching the floor, hands behind his back. I started looking around while Stephen debated what to order. Male and female dominants, some in casual clothes, some dressed up, sitting at their tables, most of them accompanied by one sub. In the far corner I spotted a guy in his late twenties holding two leashes, but I couldn’t see his subs. And at one table there were two Dommes who seemed to be a couple, their female sub cowering under their table fully naked except for a ball gag.

An hour later both Stephen and I were sated, making light conversation. Loki hadn’t said a word, had been completely ignored and only given a few sips of water from a bowl.

“You hungry, fucktoy?”, Stephen said mid conversation, so casually I didn’t think Loki would even react. But I had been wrong.

“Yes, master, very much.”

“I seem to recall the cheapest dish was something around 7 bucks. You have that money?”

“I don’t, sir.”

“Well, I doubt they will make you a gift, fucktoy.”

“Maybe I could try to earn it, sir?”

Stephen huffed out a laugh.

“And how do you suggest you do that? Are you going to wait tables? Wash dishes?”

Loki very slowly looked up, prepared to avert his eyes if ordered, but Stephen allowed it.

“Maybe I could… crawl around the room and offer to perform service on these ladies and gentlemen? They might give me a dime, or even a half?”

Stephen leaned back.

“I’ve had your service. You’re not worth that much.”

Loki lowered his eyes.

“Yes, sir.”

“And besides I don't want you bothering the guests.”

“Maybe... the owner? Maybe you could make me available to the owner and in exchange I would be given something to eat? Even if it's just kitchen scraps? Please!”

Stephen sighed but didn’t answer. After a while Loki said, voice almost inaudible:

“Maybe… you, master, or you, my lady, could pay for feeding me? Please?”

“In return for what?”

“Whatever you want, sir. Please, I’m really very hungry.”

Stephen picked up Loki’s leash and pulled until Loki was halfway in his lap.

“Whatever I want? Which is exactly what I can have whenever I want anyway. And besides I’ve had everything you have to offer. Try. Harder.”

Stephen let go. Loki slipped back to the floor and started to kiss Stephen’s feet, raising his ass in the air. Stephen looked at me and nodded, and I pulled the thong down Loki’s legs, leaving it around his knees. Stephen stepped on the leash, forcing Loki’s face to the floor, and I started playing with his balls. Soon he was moaning under his breath, desperately trying not to be too loud.

“Here’s the deal,” I said. “You will take whatever we do to you without disturbing the other guests. If we’re satisfied with your effort, you get to eat. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am! Thank you so much, my lady, thank you.”

“Stephen, can you please hold him there?”

“Sure.”

Stephen put his foot on the back of Loki’s neck, and I pulled a paddle from my bag. Taking hold of Loki’s balls I gently tapped them with the wooden tool. Loki’s whole body tensed.

“How many, ma’am?”

“You don’t need to know that. It’s over when we decide that it’s over.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I started hitting Loki’s balls, slow and light at first, then harder. I didn’t go full out like I would have at home, but it had to be painful. Loki took very deliberate breaths, but didn’t make a single sound. I paused to look at Stephen. He nodded, obviously impressed.

“How many more, you would say?” I asked him.

Stephen signalled 30.

“Phew, okay. Your master is a cruel man, fucktoy.”

“Whatever he decides, ma’am.”

“Oh boy, so well behaved. Someone must be really hungry.”

“Yes, ma’am. Please give me the remaining blows?”

“So impatient… maybe we should make him wait, have dessert in the meantime?”

“That’s an amazing idea. I’ll ask the waiter to bring us the menu again.”

“Please,” Loki whimpered, “please finish the beating, ma’am, please!”

Stephen intervened.

“I am sick and tired of your attitude, you greedy little piece of shit. Next you’ll demand that we follow _your_ schedule. Feed you when _you_ feel like eating. Fuck you when _you_ need to scratch an itch. Your mistress is far too kind with you. Next time I’ll have you to myself I’ll teach you how I expect a fucktoy to behave. You need to be put in your place. You’re lucky there’s so many people around whose dinner I don’t want to ruin with your screams. Because scream you will for fuck’s sake.”

He leaned back.

“When’s my next turn?” he asked me.

“Next week.”

“Fine then. Please don’t feed him 48 hours ahead. And if you have the time, beat him daily. I’m really, really fed up with starting all over again every single fucking time.”

I nodded and we ordered dessert. Loki whimpered a few times but didn’t dare to speak up. When I was finished I looked at Stephen.

“Do you mind if I finish that beating?”

“Sure, go ahead,” Stephen said, still enjoying his dessert, and so I gave Loki 30 more blows to the balls, not hard enough to make him scream, but hard enough to be really, really painful. He didn’t make a single sound. When I stopped he let out a breath, and I realised he was trembling. I ran my hand through his hair and dropped the paddle.

“Done, lovely. It's over. I can't believe you stayed completely silent through this... not just quiet, but soundless.”

I pulled him into a fierce kiss, and when I broke it he whispered:

“Did I please you, my lady?”

I smiled at him.

“Yes. Yes, you did.”

“Does that mean I’ll be allowed to eat, ma’am?”

“Yes.”

Loki exhaled on a sigh.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

I signalled our waiter and pointed to the things I wanted on the menu. He nodded, and with a smile in Loki's direction he asked:

“May I make a suggestion, ma'am?”

“Sure.”

He pointed to something from the dessert section and I started to grin.

“Very good. Yes, please.”

When everything was on the table I pulled on Loki's leash and said:

“Get up, back on your chair.”

On Loki’s plate was a generous heap of pasta, there was a bottle of water next to it and a glass of a South African wine I knew he’d love—and a small bowl of chocolate mousse. The moment he saw the food he started to grin, and that was it for his submissive mindset. Stephen and I watched him dig into the pasta and savour the wine, made sure he drank the water, and when he started on his dessert we both had to stop ourselves from squirming in our seats.

“He’s doing it on purpose, isn’t he?” Stephen asked under his breath, and Loki batted his eyelashes at him.

“Yup. Most definitely,” I said.

“Evil.”

“M-hm.”

A little later Stephen and I were waiting in the parking lot, leaning against the hood of my car, enjoying the summer night breeze. Loki had said he’d be with us in a minute, but he hadn’t shown up yet.

“Who’s he flirting with, you reckon?” Stephen said with a grin I could hear without looking at him.

I shrugged.

“My money’s on that blonde sub with the fresh bruises,” Stephen added.

“They did look stunning on her, but I’m willing to bet it’s her Dom.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“Huh. How much?”

“What do you mean?”

“The bet.”

“Money’s boring. How about… winner gets the sub tonight?”

“Deal.”

When Loki finally graced us with his presence he had a spring in his step that suited him very well. Stephen and I glanced at each other.

“What?”

Loki got in the passenger seat and Stephen sat behind him.

“Oh we were wondering. Who’d you talk to?”

“The waiter, his name is Marcus. He's a fellow sub. We agree on the necessity of chocolate after pain.”

I looked at Stephen in the mirror, but he just shrugged.

“Tie, I’d say.”

“Yup.”

From the corner of my eye I could see Loki grin, but he didn’t comment. Stephen leaned forward to caress Loki’s neck, and the sub moved into the touch.

“You were so hot,” Stephen murmured. “Plugged ass in the air, begging for food...”

Loki chuckled.

“You just love it when I beg, don't you?”

“Hell yeah,” Stephen and I said in one voice, and then all three of us burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like the more playful, cheeky, confident Loki?


	15. Desperate

I was relaxing on the playroom bed, watching the scene that was going on: Loki on his knees before Stephen, legs apart, eyes on the floor. Stephen was sitting on the couch, rubbing the tip of his shoe over Loki's balls, again and again while Loki was desperately trying to control himself. And then Stephen stopped and put his foot on the floor. Nothing happened for a long time, Loki's breathing the only sound in the playroom. I could tell he was battling a need he wasn't supposed to voice, and he was losing.

“Can I please look at you, master?” he finally choked out, trembling slightly, needy and perfectly submissive.

Stephen drew in a breath.

“What's the rule on that?”

“Not before I made you come, sir.”

“Have you?”

“I haven’t, sir.”

“Have I ever allowed you to look at me before I was finished with you?”

“Never, sir.”

“Then why do you keep begging for it?”

“Because I need it so badly, sir. There is nothing I want more right now.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing, sir.”

“You'd rather not come than not being allowed to look at me?”

“Yes, sir, in a heartbeat.”

Stephen paused and started to smile.

“That was decisive,” he said softly.

“Yes, sir. It wasn't a difficult decision.”

“Close your eyes.”

Stephen gently lifted Loki's chin.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I can feel your eyes on me, sir.”

Stephen leaned in and kissed Loki, long and tender, and Loki melted into the kiss.

“ _Now_ look at me.”

Loki opened his eyes and let his gaze wander, from Stephen's eyes to his mouth and back up, and there was a wide, open, happy smile on Loki's face.

“You're beautiful,” he breathed, and then he froze, steeling himself for punishment. Stephen immediately slapped him.

“Thank you, sir,” Loki whispered, not lifting his eyes back up after taking the slap.

“That's the second time you spoke without being spoken to. After I allowed this huge exception from one of your most basic rules. This is what I get for giving you the slightest bit of room. All the training. The little bit of discipline you finally had. All gone. I'll have to train you all over again.”

Loki's shoulders sagged.

“Oh, come on! Not even posture?! I don't think I want to start all over again. Frankly I don't think you're worth the effort.”

Looking at me across the room he said:

“Do you want him? Maybe you can beat it into him.”

“I can try...”

“Do that. Don't let me catch sight of him before he's trained to perfection. I'm not sure even you can get him there though. As far as I'm concerned you shouldn't put more than a week into it. After that just throw him out into the street if he doesn't perform. Maybe someone will make use of him.”

“Hmm... think we could finally make some money off him? Rent him out? Like... tie him to a tree and put a sign on him?”

“I'm afraid not. But 'free to use' might work.”

We'd been deliberately ignoring Loki, but now he made a strangled sound, half moan, half sob, and I looked at him. He was still kneeling, thighs open wide, and he was rock hard.

“Come here,” I ordered. I'd expected him to crawl on his hands and knees but he threw himself onto the floor and crawled on his stomach, pressing his groin to the floor, probably causing himself as much pain as he was creating much needed friction. It was the most submissive way possible to obey me, and it turned me on beyond measure.

“Do you want that? To be out in the street, alone, for anyone to use?”

“No, ma'am, please don't do that to me. Please. Please don't.”

Oh the sweet sound of a desperate, begging sub.

“Why shouldn't I?”

“Because it would break me, and I'd be useless afterwards. Please, whatever you want to do to me... anything... but please do it yourself. Please!”

“Look at me.”

He lifted his head, straining his back to the breaking point. The despair in his eyes, the naked fear of being exposed like that was too much to take. Stephen was probably still enjoying this, I didn't look at him to check. But I had reached my limit.

“Red,” I said softly and touched Loki's face. “Come here, gorgeous.”

He took a shaky breath and stood up. I got up from the bed and engulfed him in an embrace, and over his shoulder I saw Stephen stand and come over.

“It's amazing what you can take,” Stephen said gently, and Loki freed himself from my arms and turned, waiting for Stephen to hold him. When Stephen opened his arms, I could see Loki's shoulders shake, and then he melted into that hug. I put my hands on his hips and rested my head against his back, and we stood like that until Loki pulled free.


	16. Shades of Strange: Locked Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone *cough jotunemo cough* likes Stephen... so have a little more Strangefrost, everybody.

_The next time Loki went to see Stephen, he presented him with a package._

_“My mistress sends her regards and asks you to be strict with me, master.”_

_Stephen hummed._

_“So she's making good on her word.”_

_“What do you mean, sir?”_

_“There's a little game we came up with, your mistress and I. Open it.”_

_Loki did, starting to smile when he realised what it was. Stephen took it from him._

_“I'm going to lock you in chastity, right now. You'll be locked up for the whole weekend, and that's how I'll send you back to her. It operates via Bluetooth, and your mistress has the app that controls it on her phone. We will confer as to if and when she'll free you. She might keep you locked up until the next time she hands you over to me. I think her decision will at least partly depend on my report. So you better make sure I have only good things to report.”_

_Loki swallowed, pupils blown, but shaking slightly._

_“The whole weekend?” he repeated in a low voice. “Please don't do that to me. I'd be so frustrated. That's ... not how I hoped the weekend would go.”_

_“Loki, listen to me. It's what_ we _came up with. If you don't give your consent then obviously it's not happening. Okay?”_

_Loki straightened a little._

_“I do give my consent. Just... maybe I can somehow earn the right to be freed for a little while?”_

_“I like the way your mind works... I think that can be arranged. So, do you consent to being locked up until your dominants decide otherwise?”_

_“Yes. I do.”_

_Dropping his eyes, hands crossed behind his back, he added:_

_“Please take control of my body and lock me up.”_

_The next day Stephen sent Loki grocery shopping right after fucking him. Plugged, so that he'd have Stephen’s cum inside him while being outside. Loki cooked and served a delicious dinner and then did the dishes. All without a single slip up. Flawless. And still in chastity. When the kitchen was cleaned up Stephen called for Loki._

_“You’re being such a good boy for me. Not just obedient and attentive, but proactively trying to make me happy. Anticipate my wishes. And clingy! It's so sweet!”_

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_“I think you deserve a reward. What do you want?”_

_Loki hesitated for a moment, and when he answered, it took Stephen by surprise:_

_“May I please sit in your lap, sir? You wouldn’t have to touch me, just allow me to snuggled up and lean on you, sir, please?”_

_Stephen smiled and pulled him into his lap._

_“You are the sweetest thing, really.”_

  
  
_All weekend Loki seemed fully satisfied with serving Stephen, although he was teased mercilessly now and then, but when it was time for him to leave and he was_ still _locked up and unsatisfied, he gave up. He stood close, letting Stephen see his desperation._

_“Please can I be freed and allowed to come before I leave, sir? Please?!”_

_Stephen shrugged._

_“I would do it, but you know I can’t. Your mistress would have to send me the code.”_

_“Could you please ask her to do that? Please?”_

_Stephen looked at Loki’s pleading eyes for quite a while, revelling in his expression._

_“OK, fine. I’ll call her.”_

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_Stephen tried, but when his call went to voice mail he shrugged again._

_“Sorry, pretty boy. Seems your mistress isn’t available. I guess you’ll have to stay locked up for a few more hours and hope that she’s home when you make it there. I can text her though that you have been a good boy.”_

_Loki heaved a sigh._

_“Thank you for trying, sir. And for your report.”_

_“Sure. Drive safe, okay?”_

_“I will.”_

_They hugged, a long, gentle touch that spoke volumes about how much they would miss each other, and then Loki picked up his bag and took his coat while Stephen swiped on his phone a few times. And then Loki froze at the soft click and the little motion in his pants. When he met Stephen’s eyes Stephen was grinning from ear to ear._

_“Did you just unlock me?!”_

_“Yup.”_

_“That’s… you could have done that all along?!”_

_“I could have. But where would have been the fun in that?”_

_“Bastard!”_

_Stephen chuckled._

_“Now, now. The moment you’re free all your manners are gone?”_

_Loki dropped his bag and coat and stood close._

_“So what now?”_

_Stephen reached for Loki’s belt._

_“I want to see if my fucktoy is fully functional. I know you come like crazy when you’re being fucked, but can you come like a real man? By having your cock worshipped?”_

_Loki bit his lip and let out a moan._

_“You wouldn’t…”_

_“I wouldn’t? Are you saying ‘no’ to me? Are you telling me what I can and cannot do again?”_

_“No!” Loki rushed out. “I mean I would never do that!”_

_Stephen chuckled, only now realising that Loki had indeed never used the word ‘no’ in scene since Stephen had forbidden it during that time-out early on. Clever, clever little shit. He did deserve a reward._


	17. Burned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Careful, more trauma coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you *cough you know who you are* wanted more glimpses into Loki's traumatic past. It's my honour to serve.

It had been a busy couple of weeks, I'd hardly seen Loki, but now we were finally both free at the same time, snuggled up on my couch, and I absentmindedly ran my hand up and down his thigh.

“What's on your mind, luv?” he murmured against my neck.

“I've been asked to do a book reading at a convention.” I sat up. “Would you like to come with me? They booked me a double room, so... I mean, just in case you're free. It's in two weeks. Is that too little notice?”

He chuckled and pulled me closer.

“Why are you so insecure about this?”

“I dunno. You're a busy man. I didn't want to assume...”

“I'd love to go.”

“Really?”

“Really. Do I get to wear gear?”

“If you want...”

“Would it look bad? Reflect badly on your appearance I mean?”

“No. God no. You can wear whatever you want. As long as it's in accordance with the guidelines, obviously.”

“Yeah but would you want me to?”

“Let me think. Do I want to show off my hot as fuck sub to a thousand people? Fuck yeah!”

He chuckled and squeezed me tightly.

“Is Stephen coming?”

“I don't know. Don't think so. We could ask him I guess?” I thought about it for a moment. “Actually I'd like it to be just the two of us. What do you think?”

“You want me all to yourself. Greedy.”

“No, I just—”

“I'm kidding. I'd love to spend that time with you. What's up with you tonight?”

“I don't know. I guess I missed you, and I _hate_ being needy. But I've barely seen you in forever.”

“I know. We've both been quite busy recently. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing that would be set in stone, why?”

“Because I feel like we need some time. I'll reschedule my appointments. Be here. Spend the day with you.”

That shouldn't make my throat constrict, but it did. I just nodded.

“Would you like that?” Loki purred right into my ear. It didn’t make speaking any easier, but I managed a husky “Yes. God yes.”

“Good. So that's what we'll do then. Let me send a few emails, make a call or two.”

“Thank you,” I said and kissed him. He kissed me back and got up, grabbing his phone.

“Be right back.”

And just like that my mood improved tenfold.

I revelled in Loki’s calm, relaxed presence that next day. We took our time getting up as well as at breakfast, went for a walk, cooked lunch together, spend all day side by side. In the afternoon I wrote for two hours while he was reading, and after dinner he turned to me.

“I’m all yours. My lady.”

I went into play mode immediately as I always did when he called me that. Taking a breath I recalled the plan. We'd been playing with various, usually quite heavy objects Loki had to hold in both hands, arms spread, while I'd teased, beaten and fucked him, punishing him whenever he lowered his arms. For tonight I had a new variation in mind. I told him to strip, kneel and close his eyes.

“Hold out your hands in front of you, palms up. You'll hold whatever I put in your hands. No matter what I do to you, you will not drop it, understood?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

He sounded a little strange but seemed otherwise fine, so I waited a moment and then dropped two big stones in his hands, from a bit of a height so they would make an impact. When they landed he gasped and recoiled, dropping them as if they were burning hot. They hit the floor with a solid thud. Loki was staring at them, frozen in place, not breathing. When he finally did, it was fast and shallow, eyes wide with panic, and then he threw himself at my feet.

“I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... please, ma'am, please don't punish me, I'll be good, I swear, please...”

“Loki.”

“Please. Please! I'll make it up to you, I promise, I'll do better, please let me try... please...”

“Loki!”

“Please... Please, ma'am. Please it won't happen—”

“Shut up!”

He pressed his lips together.

“Look at me.”

No reaction.

“Look. At me.”

He did, breath coming short and shallow, lips trembling.

“You're safe. Look at me. I'm not mad.”

He looked as if what I'd said didn't make any sense. I put my forehead against his, deliberately breathing on his face, making him feel it.

“Breathe with me gorgeous, can you do that for me? In... out?”

He tried, but his breath kept hitching. I pulled back a little to caress his face, and he moved into it, jerking back almost instantly.

“I'm sorry. I'm—”

“I said. Shut. Up. Breathe with me. That's all I want from you right now. Breathe in. Breathe out.”

Finally it started to work.

“Good. That's good, luv. Can you feel the air fill your lungs? Now repeat after me:

I'm safe.”

“I'm…safe.”

“I don't deserve punishment.”

“I...,” he swallowed, pain in his eyes.

“Say it.”

“I don't deserve punishment.”

His voice was low, trying not to be heard.

“I don't believe you. Again.”

“But you specifically told me—”

“Loki. Repeat after me: I don't deserve punishment.”

He seemed unable to say the words.

“Look at me.”

He fought and lost. I forced him.

“I'm not mad. You're safe. I love you.”

A sob tore free from his chest.

“I love you. You're safe,” I repeated.

“I'm safe,” he whispered. “You're not mad at me.”

“That's right. I'm not. You don't deserve punishment. Tell me what you need.”

He was fighting again.

“I said tell me what you need.”

His breathing was speeding up again, but I let him find his courage, and finally he did.

“Touch me! Please? Oh god would you please lay your hands on me, please? Something? Anything? Just allow me to feel your touch. Please!”

I dropped to my knees and kissed him, both hands framing his face, and then I let them roam his gorgeous body. He collapsed against my shoulder and started to cry, exhausted painful sobs that cut right through my soul.

“It's alright, you're safe.”

“I'm sorry...”

“No. Don't. Let yourself feel. Let go. Come apart. I've got you.”

And just like that he did fall apart in my arms, crying himself empty, clinging to me, needy and desperate. I kissed and caressed his whole body, and eventually he slid to the floor, curled up in a foetal position, his head in my lap.

“I love you with all my heart,” he whispered. “I need you so much that it scares me to death.”

“I'm here. I love you. Please rest and let yourself heal.”

“I can't. I have to explain... I owe you...”

“Shhh. Later. For now just relax. Nothing is going to happen to you. I've got you. I'm not mad.”

“You're not mad,” he repeated, under his breath, trying to convince himself.

“That's right. I'm not. In fact I'm sorry.”

“I should have—but I didn't know! I'd forgotten! How could I forget—”

“Loki, please. Please let it go. Can we please go to bed and try to get some sleep?”

I should have known it would haunt him. I woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, and when I got up I found him sitting in a corner of the play room, in the dark, hugging his knees. I knelt and pulled him into my arms.

“Please come back to bed,” I whispered.

“I have to explain,” he said, voice hoarse and desperate, and this time I just nodded.

“Ok. But can we not do it here please?”

He hesitated.

“I think I'd like to do it here. I could show you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I slowly pulled back.

“Okay.”

He stood and turned a single light on, dimmed.

“I told you they'd used heat. Glowing metal. Open fire.”

He knelt and held out his hands the way I had instructed him earlier.

“They put hot coals in my hands, forcing me to hold still. Punishing me horribly if I dropped them. Promising me water if I managed a certain amount of time.”

He closed his eyes, hands shaking, arms trembling, and then he slowly closed his fists. His voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

“I did. I could smell my skin and flesh burn away but I just clenched my fists around them and didn't move. It took forever to heal.”

He took a deep breath and stood.

“I'd forgotten that. It all came rushing back when I felt the stones. I could have sworn they were red hot, burning my flesh off my bones... don't say you're sorry,” he stopped me when I breathed in. “It's not your fault.”

“I am though. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry for your pain, the physical pain back then and the remembered pain right now. I'm sorry you're suffering. I'm sorry I caused it. I'm sorry that I don't know how to help you.”

Tears. Damn it, situations like this always brought tears to my eyes, making it about me instead of focusing on what he needed.

“I'll bring it up in therapy,” he said, eerily calm, making it clear that the case was closed. Which left me feeling even more useless.

“Okay.” I nodded, throat dry. “Probably a good idea.”

“I'd like to try and get some sleep.”

I nodded again, and he fell asleep surprisingly fast after going back to bed. I lay awake for at least another hour, and after that my dreams were weird and disturbing.


	18. Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki does love to push his limits. But communication still isn't his forte...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was shorter originally, but someone is very found of the idea of Loki being shown off publicly...

18 Hood

Two weeks later Loki and I checked in at the convention centre’s hotel, and while he took a shower I lay on the bed and went through the list of vendors, classes and readings, smiling to myself when I saw my name. I loved these weekends. I was looking forward to meeting a handful of old friends, and yes, I couldn’t wait to show Loki off. When he came out of the bathroom, towel draped sinfully low around his waist, damp hair in a messy bun, I might have purred. He grinned and stood close to the bed, waiting, all cheeky confidence.

“Heavens you’re gorgeous,” I murmured and sat up to pull him closer.

“Likewise.”

“I like the outfit.”

He chuckled.

“What, this old thing? I was hoping to get dressed up.”

“For starters I think you should get dressed down.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, voice low, and dropped the towel.

I was definitely purring now.

When I woke up the next morning Loki was already up, fixing his hair, but stark naked.

“Still liking the outfit. Or lack thereof.”

He turned to me with The Pout turned up to 100, complete with puppy eyes.

“You said I’d get to wear gear!”

“Okay, fine, show me.”

He literally beamed and dug into his bag.

“Would you do me the honour, my lady?” he said, holding out his chastity cage and leash.

“Collar?”

“Oh. Right.”

I buckled his collar first, then put him into chastity, and finally ran the leash through the ring on his collar. When I connected it to the cage Loki let out a sigh.

“Perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re so very welcome. Now. Jeans, socks and boots. That’s all I want to see on you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A little later we were strolling through the convention centre, me holding his leash, him one step behind me. Whenever I pulled on the leash I heard him moan under his breath, no doubt feeling the cage restrict him. We stopped here and there, looking at the merchandise, talking to friends and strangers, me casually stroking and kneading him though his jeans, him starting to leak, a wet patch forming on the denim. Oh the looks he got. Heads turned left and right. I pretended not to notice, but it was a massive turn-on. He was by far the most beautiful thing within a mile, and that was saying something. Whenever I looked at him he gave me a wide smile, occasionally whispering “green” to assure me he was enjoying the hell out of this. When it was time for my reading I asked him what he wanted to do in the meantime. He looked at me for a moment, and then he murmured:

“If it was up to me, I’d kneel at your feet, my lady.”

Good Lord. What an image.

“I doubt I would be able to read my own book, fucktoy…”

I kissed him, running my hands over his ass in plain sight of everyone walking by.

“A pathetic piece of fuckmeat like you, kneeling at my feet, all needy and desperate…I might get distracted. No. You will kneel behind me, facing the crowd, and I will take away the privilege to wear clothes. You will be on full display, and you will be on your absolute best behaviour. Are we clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and he was. Halfway through my reading I realised it might not have been my smartest move, judging by the looks my audience gave him. Talk about being distracted… but then they asked smart questions after the reading that proved they had indeed listened to what I was saying, and I was back to proud owner. 

Reading dealt with I picked up my slave and we went back into the main hall. When we got to the stage there was a beautiful scene going on. A male sub in strict bondage and a sensory deprivation hood, teased and humiliated by a gorgeous Dom. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I felt Loki step closer, his hands on my hips, and leaned back. He kissed my neck and ran his hands up and down my sides, and then he stilled, probably watching as closely as I did. When the scene ended I turned to him, pulling him into a fierce kiss.

“I wish we were alone right now,” I whispered into his ear.

“The scene aroused you, my lady?”

“Hell yeah.”

Later that night we had dinner at the hotel and then went back to our room. I changed and got ready for the party, but Loki didn't seem to feel like it.

“What's up?” I asked him.

“I'm just not in the mood. Sorry.”

“Oh come on! It's Saturday night! Please?”

“I mean it. I don't feel like tons of people.”

I huffed out a breath, my mood dampened all of a sudden.

“So we stay in.”

“No, you go and enjoy the party. I might still be up when you come back. You did want to be alone with me...”

I didn't know how to feel about the whole thing, not really feeling like going out any more, but too wired to stay in.

“Okay then... I'll go.”

“Yeah.” He smiled at me. “Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

“Yeah, I guess I will.”

I didn't. Have fun I mean. I kept thinking about Loki, and so I found myself back at the hotel not even two hours later. When I entered our room I thought he wasn't in, but then I realised he'd run himself a bath. Which usually meant he was upset. I leaned on the bathroom doorframe.

“Hey pretty boy.”

“You’re back early. Party not good?”

“Couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

“Oh?”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Do as you please, my lady.”

We spent an hour in the tub, Loki washing my hair and massaging my shoulders and overall very anxious to please me, but he refused to talk. While he was drying me off he started kissing down my body until he knelt in front of me, dripping wet himself, licking and kissing and moaning against my pussy. I vaguely remember worrying about him catching a cold, but he was just too good with his mouth to have coherent thoughts. I came on his tongue while he supported my weight, and while I was still trying to catch my breath he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He laid me down and made sure I was comfortable, hands and lips wandering, a constant flow of worship.

“Loki,” it came out on a sigh, not remotely as forceful as I had meant it to.

“Sshhh. Please grant me this, my lady.”

Something odd registered with me through the haze of pleasure that clever mouth was giving me, but the bath and the post orgasm happiness made me too drowsy to actually follow that line of thought. I’m not even sure if I came again or just passed out into a blissful sleep, but I woke up the next morning feeling amazing. Loki on the other hand was still behaving weird. He was quiet and closed off but kept telling me he was fine. We were browsing the stalls together when all of a sudden his phone rang. He picked up, said: “Oh hi, thank you for calling me back!” and gestured at me to wait for him while he’d find a quieter spot. I nodded and turned to inspect a steel collar that had caught my eye the first time we’d passed that stall. I couldn’t help but imagining it on Loki… who returned a few minutes later looking like a different person. Whatever had been bothering him seemed to have vanished into thin air. He put his phone in his back pocket and wrapped his arms around me.

“Stephen says hi,” he said as he let go.

“Ah, erm, thanks. I guess. How’s he doing?”

“He’s fine. Listen, I need you to get lost for half an hour or so, can you do that?”

I chuckled.

“Charming.”

“I know, sorry. You won’t regret it though. Promise.”

“Okay… I suppose this has something to do with Stephen?”

“Yeah, in a way.”

“And so does your complete and very surprising mood swing?”

He looked a little guilty at that.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“As long as you’re happy now.”

“I am. Could you…”

He made a shooing motion.

“All right, all right. Watch me get lost. I’ll be outside.”

“Thank you,” he said and kissed me.

“Whatever floats your boat, tiger.”

He never told me what was in the bag he carried when he joined me again—until three months later when he presented me with the same bag.

“It’s not my birthday,” I said, surprised.

“Can’t I buy you gifts just because?”

“Not complaining,” I said with a grin and pulled a wrapped package out of the bag.

“Is this what you bought at the con?”

“Yup.”

“And I’m getting it _today_ because?”

He seemed a little nervous when he said:

“Because now I think I’m ready for you to have it.”

In a brief flash I remembered his weird state of mind that weekend, and I got nervous too. I unwrapped it and felt my eyes go wide.

“A hood? Are you sure that's a good idea?”

“I saw the way you looked at that sub, in scene, on stage. I could tell you wanted that.”

“Well I did think it was hot, but that doesn’t mean I want to do it. We never talked about it. It's going to take a lot of time and energy before we can use it, if ever. Remember how long the blindfold took us?”

That muscle in Loki's jaw twitched.

“Don't worry. You won't have to invest any time. I’m ready. Stephen agreed to train me.”

So that must have been what they talked about on the phone on the day of the convention.

“Loki, I'm not sure...” I sighed.

I could tell he was tense. Angry even. And his next words confirmed that:

“What's your problem? For the last three months I spent all the time I had with Stephen on it. Because _you_ like a hood on a sub.”

“I didn't ask you to do that.”

“Fine. I'm sorry I tried to please you, _mistress._ ”

A moment later the front door snapped shut.

Later in bed I tried to bring it up, but Loki just heaved a sigh.

“Let it go. Let's just not mention it again.”

I wasn’t all too happy with that. I felt it needed talking about, and I wanted to tell him that I was sorry and that I appreciated the idea. But he wouldn’t hear it.

Until a few weeks later when he brought it up himself. He said he’d talked about it in therapy.

“I think I owe you an apology. Scratch that. I do owe you an apology.”

“Loki, I’m sorry, too. I just—”

“Please, let me say this, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I did it for myself, to prove to myself that I could, maybe even to prove that I could do it without _you._ And still I used you as motivation when things got tough.”

“Which isn't a crime.”

“No, but it is kinda dubious as far as consent goes. And it was entirely not okay to lash out when you didn't react to me sacrificing my playtime with Stephen the way I’d wanted you to. Expected you to. You were right. You hadn't asked me to do it. I had no right to expect _anything_.”

“Well, it was a thoughtful gift, and it took you a lot of time and was probably hard on you, so no wonder you were disappointed. I do appreciate it, Loki. And I feel bad for you and Stephen.”

“We might have postponed a scene or two to get it done but it’s not like we didn’t have fun, too,” he said with a small smile.

Which made me think.

“I might have an idea,” I said, starting to smile myself.

A minute later Loki was sitting on the couch cross legged, chewing on a pencil, his calendar open on his phone in front of him, and made a list of every date they had worked on his hood training, adding up hours and eventually presenting me with a number. I rounded it up generously and circled it in red. Leaning back I said:

“That’s how much time I owe Stephen, and I always pay my debts. You’ll be _his_ every weekend he wants you until those hours are paid up.”

Loki swallowed.

“You’re sending me away?”

“No. Like I said. I owe him. I’ll relinquish my weekends with you until your master has been compensated for the time he spent on training you. You’ll still serve me during the week. You will be very busy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He swallowed again.

“When do you wish to test the hood on me, ma’am?”

I framed his face and kissed him.

“For that, we will take a lot of time. Certainly not an evening after work. We will wait for a weekend when your master has no need for your services. Agreed?”

“Yes.”

He relaxed visibly.

“You really want it? In time?” he asked, more insecure than I’d seen him in a long time.

“God, yes. Having you at my mercy like that, not just blindfolded, but completely isolated, is going to be glorious.”

“Complete surrender,” Loki murmured. “That’s how it feels to me.”

I felt my throat go dry.

“And just like that I wonder if giving up my weekends was such a good idea…”

He just grinned and called Stephen.


	19. Shades of Strange: Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are at it again, and Stephen really notches up his performance this time. Be warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated this back and forth, because technically Loki shouldn't mind the cold and shy away from heat. But I liked it too much to cut it.

_Stephen pulled out and brutally slapped Loki across the face._

_“See this? I'm fucking bleeding! You useless pathetic piece of shit used your fucking teeth on me!”_

_“I'm sorry, master! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! It won't happen again I promise.”_

_“Damn right it won't, because I'll knock your teeth out of your fucking mouth and those that are left I'll have pulled. All of them. Because what does a fuckhole need teeth for anyway.”_

_“Please don't do that, master. Please.”_

_“I'm not making threats. We're not negotiating. I'm fucking predicting your future. If I ever, just once, so much as feel your teeth again you will call my dentist and make an appointment. I will drag you to Doctor Martin's office and personally strap you down in his chair, and he'll rip every single one of those useless teeth out of your jaw.”_

_Pale as a sheet Loki nodded._

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“Now lick the blood off my cock, and after that get on my asshole. That way I can at least get some pleasure out of you without any further damage to my body. Fuck's sake.”_

_Shaking in fear Loki did as he was told, and then Stephen ordered:_

_“Fetch the ball gag.”_

_When Loki brought him the gag Stephen forced it in, buckled and locked it and said:_

_“This will stay in until my cock is healed. No blowjobs, no rim jobs, no food, no speech. Out of my sight.”_

_An hour later Stephen wandered around his house, but Loki was nowhere to be found. Sitting down on the couch he called out:_

_“Fucktoy! Come here!”_

_Loki crawled into the living room on his hands and knees. They were dirty, covered in dust, as were his shins and the soles of his feet. Stephen frowned. He took the gag out of Loki's mouth._

_“Where were you?”_

_“In the attic, sir.”_

_“Why would you—what the fuck were you doing in the attic?”_

_“I was trying to stay out of your sight, sir. Find a place you wouldn't go so you wouldn't have to lay eyes on me.” His voice was low and his head bowed, the picture of submission. “Since you are so mad at me.”_

_“Look what you did to the floor. It's all dirty now.”_

_“I'll clean it up right away, sir. I'm sorry I keep making you angry.”_

_“I'll have to clean you up first. Bathroom.”_

_In the bathroom Stephen put the gag back in and ordered Loki to sit in the tub, and then he cleaned him up, taps turned to cold._

_“Stand,” he ordered when he was done. “Stay until you're dry. Then start on the floors.”_

_Half an hour later a shaking Loki was on his knees, cleaning up the floors. Stephen stood behind him, playing with Loki's ass and balls, drawing muffled moans from his sub, who was constantly trying to clean away his drool as well as the dust he'd smeared on the floor earlier. Stephen pushed a finger up Loki's ass and started massaging his prostate._

_“You're not done,” he hissed when Loki stopped cleaning and arched into the touch, mercilessly working him until Loki spilled his cum on the floor._

_“Too bad. More mess to clean up.”_

_Stephen shrugged and left the room, and Loki sank to the floor to rest for a moment before forcing himself back up._

_When he was done he knelt down in the hallway outside the living room, still shaking with cold, his hands and feet freezing, waiting for Stephen's next command. Stephen showed up at the top of the stairs and Loki held his breath, not sure if his current position would be considered cause for punishment._

_“Come here.”_

_Loki crawled up the stairs._

_“Are you cold?”_

_Loki nodded and tried to say 'yes' around the gag._

_Stephen grabbed Loki's balls and started grinning._

_“Well not cold enough. I've just filled the tub with icy cold water. I'd like to see how long you can stand that. Get in there.”_

_Loki closed his eyes for a moment but then he obediently crawled to the bathroom and stood beside the tub._

_“Get. In,” Stephen hissed, smacking Loki up the head._

_Loki's chest heaved, his breath coming short and shallow. His whole body tensed as he stepped into the tub—and then he relaxed, his eyes flying to Stephen's, wide with wonder._

_“Surprise, gorgeous,” Stephen said gently and unbuckled the gag. “Game over. Enjoy.”_

_Loki sat down and lay back with a smile of pure bliss._

_“How have I not noticed that the water was steaming?”_

_Stephen sat down on the edge of the tub._

_“Mind fucks are powerful.”_

_“And you're damn convincing.”_

_“And I'm damn convincing.”_

_Loki ran his hands over his face, washing away the drool. Tilting his face up he asked:_

_“Kiss me, please?”_

_Stephen knelt down and did as Loki asked._

_“I'm sorry I hurt you,” Loki whispered._

_“I know. I'll live. But I am most definitely not a masochist.”_

_Loki chuckled._

_“You have other qualities.”_

_“Which reminds me,” Stephen said and stood. “Dinner.”_

_“Give me a minute, I'll help!”_

_“Nope. You'll enjoy your bath. I'll take care of it. And when you come downstairs dinner will be ready.”_

_“Does that mean I'm allowed to eat?” Loki said, switching back to sub mode in an instant._

_Stephen growled and kissed him again, hungry and aggressive this time._

_“We'll see... Maybe I will eat while you have to watch...”_

_“Please,” Loki whimpered, “I'll be good, I promise.”_

_Stephen grinned and kissed him one more time. Shaking his head, he said:_

_“How do you do that, switch gears mid conversation?”_

_Loki shrugged._

_“It's a talent?”_

_Stephen huffed out a laugh._

_“You're gorgeous, love. And hot as hell.”_

_“Speaking of hot. Do you want me dressed for dinner?”_

_Stephen bit his lip, but then he nodded._

_“Yeah. Let's be equals. Lovers.”_

_“No starving the sub?”_

_“No,” Stephen said gently. “Just two guys having dinner.”_


	20. Shades of Strange: Mindfucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaand still a step further. Let's see if we can break the sub...

_The next day they were chilling in the living room, Stephen casually running his hands over Loki's body. Loki was obviously enjoying it a lot, and eventually he slipped down off the couch and knelt between Stephen's legs, no eye contact, no word, just waiting, breathing hard already._

_“You want my cock? Again? Greedy little slut.”_

_“Yes, please, sir. I miss it. It's been at least six hours since you've last allowed me to go down on you.”_

_“Which means you're starving.”_

_“Yes, master. Please?”_

_“Say it. Convince me.”_

_“Master, may I please suck your cock? I'm dying to feel it down my throat. Please. Please fuck my face, sir. Please.”_

_“Ah! Now that sounds convincing. Get on with it then.”_

_“Thank you, sir!”_

_Loki went to work enthusiastically, and soon Stephen took the lead, holding his head in place and forcing himself down Loki's throat deeper and deeper—and then they both froze. Stephen pulled out. Loki threw himself at Stephen's feet and begged:_

_“Please, sir, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please let me make it up to you! Don't be angry, please, sir, I'm—”_

_“Shut up.”_

_Stephen did his pants up._

_“What did I tell you would happen if I ever felt your fucking teeth on me again?”_

_“I'm sorry, sir, I didn't—”_

_“Answer. The fucking. Question.”_

_“You told me you'd have my teeth pulled, sir, but please—”_

_“Wrong. I told you_ you _'d have your fucking teeth pulled.”_

_He left the room and came back with a business card and Loki's phone._

_“Call this number.”_

_“Sir, please...”_

_“Call. The fucking. Number. Or I'll beat you until your teeth are_ knocked _loose.”_

_Loki took his phone and the card, shaking all over, still on his knees._

_“And put it on speaker phone.”_

_“Doctor Martin's office, how may I help you?”_

_Loki was shaking so hard he could barely speak._

_“I—I'd like to make an appointment, please.”_

_“Sure, what for?”_

_“I will have to have my teeth pulled,” Loki said, his voice so low it was barely audible._

_Stephen smacked him up the head and hissed:_

_“Speak up!”_

_“I'm sorry, did you say teeth? Plural? How many are we talking about?”_

_“All of them, ma'am.”_

_“Oh wow that's quite a drastic measure. Why would you need that?”_

_Loki looked at Stephen, pleading, close to tears._

_“Tell her why, fucktoy.”_

_Loki swallowed._

_“Because I hurt my master while sucking his cock and that's my punishment.”_

_Stephen laughed._

_“Oh no, fucktoy, your_ punishment _is still pending. The teeth pulling is simply a means to ensure I can use you without that annoying problem occurring again.”_

_Loki stared at him, and then, as if he was in a trance:_

_“Did you hear, ma'am?”_

_“No, say again?”_

_“My master wants my teeth pulled so that in the future he can use me without me hurting him.”_

_“Ah, I see. Well that's a long procedure so we'll have to do it in the evening. Should we prepare anaesthetics?”_

_Loki looked at Stephen who shook his head. Completely resigned Loki passed it on:_

_“No, ma'am. I'm not allowed anaesthetics. I'm supposed to feel the pain.”_

_“Alright. I'll need your full name, social security number and date of birth.”_

_Loki looked at Stephen again, pleading with him._

_“Tell her,” Stephen ordered, and Loki did._

_After she'd taken down the information she said coldly:_

_“Let me talk to your master.”_

_Loki handed over his phone._

_“Sir, can you bring your sub in tomorrow night at seven? You'll have to allow for at least two hours, maybe three. You wouldn't have to be present the whole time unless you want to. You could just hand him over and pick him up three hours later.”_

_“Yes, tomorrow night is fine.”_

_Loki threw himself at Stephen's feet once more._

_“Please! Please don't do that to me! Please! Please I promise it won't happen again.”_

_“You just made an appointment! And you will fucking keep it. And when the doc is done with you I'll start fucking your toothless hole right away so it'll take forever to heal. You'll constantly be in pain while being used. Let's see if you will still love sucking cock after a week of that.”_

_“Please,” Loki whimpered, pressing his face to Stephen's groin. “Please... RED!!!! I can't... it's just... please... Stephen, please...”_

_Stephen took Loki's head in his hands and bent down, kissing him gently._

_“Game over. You know I'd never do that to you. Please calm down. It's over. It's all good.”_

_Loki started to relax a little._

_“Did I really hurt you again?”_

_Stephen smiled._

_“Yes, but to be honest I was provoking it. Setting you up for failure. It had to happen this afternoon.”_

_Loki looked up at him._

_“Come here,” Stephen said and pulled him up to sit on the couch, holding him close._

_“What do you mean, it had to happen this afternoon?”_

_Stephen took the business card from Loki's hand._

_“Call the number again.”_

_“What?! No! You said it was over!”_

_“It is. I want you to understand what happened.”_

_Loki looked terrified._

_“Please. Hit last number redial. Trust me, gorgeous.”_

_Taking a deep breath Loki did as he was told, still scared._

_“Doctor Martin's office, Lisa speaking?”_

_“Lisa, it's done,” Stephen said loud enough for her to understand him. “I let him off the hook. You were brilliant, love. Thank you so much!”_

_“Did you guys have fun?”_

_Loki cleared his throat._

_“Kind of... it would be even more fun though if someone felt like letting me in on the joke.”_

_“Should I or do you want to, Stephen?”_

_“I'll take it from here, thanks. I owe you one.”_

_“You do. I'm working overtime here!”_

_Stephen chuckled and said goodbye, and then he took the phone from Loki and hung up._

_“She's a friend, and she happens to actually work for my dentist.”_

_“What? I really called your dentist's office and gave them my correct details?! Are you nuts?”_

_“Calm down, she's alone there. The office is closed now, and she never wrote down your information.”_

_Loki's head fell back._

_“You sick motherfucker.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_Loki took a moment to process, and then he started to grin. He looked straight at Stephen._

_“I consider my mind well and truly fucked. You're unmatched, Stephen.”_

_“Thank you,” Stephen said again. “I'm quite proud of that one, actually.”_

_Loki just chuckled and stood._

_“I need a drink,” he said with a massive sigh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Stephen hasn't been able to go that far with a sub in a long time, maybe never. The things Loki can take... *sigh*


	21. Shades of Strange: Romance

_Over the day Loki did whatever he could think of to please Stephen, licking, sucking, kissing, giving his Dom more than one orgasm. Stephen never said anything. In the evening he ordered Loki into inspection position and brushed his fingertips over Loki's balls. Just once. Loki broke down, begging for more._

_“Do you want to come from my hands?_

_“God, yes.”_

_“Go to bed._ My _bed.”_

_Loki waited for half an hour, unsure if he might be in trouble. When Stephen joined him, he said:_

_“Lay still. Completely passive. If you move your hips by an inch I'll stop, and you'll go to sleep unfinished.”_

_“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Loki breathed, and Stephen started teasing and playing. It was worship more than anything, and Loki fought with everything he had._

_“I'm so close,” he whispered eventually, body still motionless. “Please let me come, sir?”_

_“Go for it, lovely,” Stephen purred, and that was all it took. It was more than just physical release, more than just pleasure and satisfaction. It was bliss and happiness and gratitude, and Loki cried silent tears, still not daring to move, until Stephen started kissing the tears away._

_“Relax, lovely. Such a good boy...”_

_“Can you... may I fall asleep in your arms please?”_

_Stephen swallowed and wrapped him in his arms._

_“Anything you want, lovely.”_

_Loki snuggled in with a small smile._

_“There's so much emotion in your voice when you call me that. So much affection.”_

_Stephen swallowed again but didn't say anything for quite a while, and then, low, while t_ _ucking a strand of hair behind Loki's ear he murmured:_

_“I've had my fair share of pretty boys, but you are by far the most beautiful thing I've ever fucked.”_

_“My, you're such a romantic.”_

_Stephen grinned._

_“I have a way with words.”_

_“Yes. Totally. Which is why you usually just tie your lovers up so they can't run.”_

_Stephen looked at him for an eternity._

_“What?” Loki asked with a small smile._

_“Nothing. Just looking.”_

_Stephen woke up the next morning with a weird feeling, as if something was off, different, wrong somehow. And then he remembered Loki falling asleep in his bed instead of the guest room like he usually did, but now his bed was empty. Stephen slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the guest room door. Had Loki changed his mind during the night? Stephen knocked, but got no answer. When he quietly opened the door, the room was empty, and the bed looked too tidy. Huh. So where was the sub?_

_It turned out Loki was gone. All his stuff was still there, though. Just as Stephen considered sending him a text, his front door opened. Right. The key had been gone, too. Stephen raised his eyebrows, waiting. Loki stopped in the door and gave him a smile that was almost apologetic._

_“Hey! Went for a walk. Sorry I took your keys, I didn’t want to have to wake you up. I hope that’s okay?”_

_Stephen let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding._

_“Sure.”_

_“Good.”_

_Loki closed the door. His smile turned into a little smirk._

_“What?”_

_“Still looking,” Stephen said, remembering the last thing he'd said the night before._

_Loki moved in._

_“Still liking what you see?” he purred. It made Stephen swallow._

_“Yes.”_

_It was a little less confident then Stephen had intended._

_“Would you like to see more?”_

_“God yes. By all means get naked.”_

_Loki chuckled._

_“Again with the romance. Smooth talker.”_

_Stephen squared his shoulders._

_“Shut up and present that perfect body to me.”_

_Loki's eyes darkened._

_“Yes, sir,” he breathed. “Is there a specific way you'd like me to do it?”_

_“Slow. Put on a show for me. I expect you to be fully hard by the time I touch you.”_

_“You know what that tone does to me. So I will be.”_

_“Being ordered around turns you on, I know. I just hope when you get rid of those jeans you'll be bare underneath and wearing a cock ring and a butt plug. Because if either one of those things is missing...”_

_“Then what?”_

_“Get. Naked.”_

_“Well, well, well. What do you have to tell me?”_

_“I'm sorry I'm not wearing a cock ring, sir.”_

_Stephen wrapped his hand around Loki's cock and gave him a few hard, fast strokes._

_“Running around with your junk unbound like a free man. As if you had rights to it.”_

_“I'm sorry, master.”_

_“No. You're not. But you will be. Get me the shoe laces.”_

_“You will spend the day with your cock and balls bound, and if I catch you touching yourself I'll destroy your hands_ and _your junk. Are we clear?”_

_Loki's knees buckled, fear and arousal balancing each other in his eyes._

_“Yes, master,” he whispered. “May I kneel at your feet, sir?”_

_“No. You will go do your chores. I don't want to see your face for at least an hour.”_

_Stephen had set up a list of things to do around his house for occasions just like this, so Loki went to work. When he showed up a little over an hour later, Stephen didn’t even look at him._

_“How many times did you touch yourself?”_

_“I didn't, sir.”_

_“Look at me. Are you lying to me?”_

_“No, sir, I swear I was good. I obeyed you, master.”_

_“And you want what now? A reward?”_

_“No, sir.”_

_“Do it now. Touch yourself. Anywhere but your cock. Tease yourself. Work yourself up. You won't be allowed to come. But I want to see you ruined, frustrated, desperate.”_

_Loki obeyed again, driving himself crazy with all the perfect little touches he loved so much, and when he was almost there Stephen told him to stop. Loki stood, rock hard, hands behind his back, chest heaving. Stephen moved in._

_“God how did we get here from this?”_

_Stephen repeated his gesture of tucking a stray strand behind Loki's ear._

_“Guess you're just really not the romantic type,” Loki said with a grin, still panting._

_Stephen gave him a smile._

_“That might be it.”_


	22. Conversation

Four minutes after Loki had texted me that he was on his way back, my phone rang, but it wasn't his name that showed up on the screen.

“Stephen? Did something happen?”

“No! I mean... he's fine. On his way. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay?”

“It might come out of left field, but... what are the rules of your relationship?”

I was stunned for a moment.

“He can play with whoever he wants as long as I know. In advance. No romantic involvement. Same for me although I'm not making use of it at the moment. Simply haven't found anyone as interesting as him. Why are you asking?”

“Are those rules negotiable?”

“Everything is negotiable. Stephen, where are you going with this?” And then it dawned on me. “Oh my god. You wanna fuck him. Outside of scene.”

“I wanna... court him, for lack of a better word. Pursue him. But I won't even try if there's the slightest risk it might damage your relationship or our friendship or both.”

“Stephen.” I heaved a sigh.

“What?”

“I love him, you know that, right? As in wanna spend the rest of my life with him?”  
“I know. And I'm happy for you. We're friends, and I love you, and I want you to be happy. It's just... if he'll have me, I might have a chance of that, too. Being happy.” There was a painful silence, and then: “I swear I won't make the same mistakes I did with Chris. I can do better, I promise. I'll...”

“...probably worship the ground he walks on. I know. I've seen you when you are in love.” I took a breath. “It would shake up our whole life. All our lives. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.”

“Fair enough. Just... please think about it?”

“Are you kidding me? This is pretty much the only thing I'm gonna be thinking about all week.”

“Thank you.”

There was so much relief in his voice that I had to smile.

“You have it bad for him.”

“I do. I'm sorry. I tried... well you don't need me to tell you that he's out of this world gorgeous.”

“He really is.”

After that neither one of us knew what to say.

When Loki came home, tired but happy as always after spending time with Stephen, I tried my best to hide from him what I was thinking about. Luckily, he was exhausted enough for it to work.

“Would you be mad at me if I hit the sack right away?” he said after we’d kissed hello.

“No. It's fine. He wore you out, didn't he?”

“Yeah...” He stretched and pulled me into his arms. “Are you coming, too?”

“In a minute.”

“Okay. Wake me up should I already be asleep.”

“Most certainly not.”

“But I feel bad. Being away for days and then just…”

“It's fine, Loki, really. I'll be with you in a second.”

While he was getting ready for bed I sat on the couch and stared at nothing. Would our relationship survive opening it up? Did I want that? I'd get even less of Loki than I had now. Somehow it felt as if he was slipping through my fingers and that hurt like hell. On the other hand... could I really deny him a relationship with Stephen if he wanted that? Could I deny Stephen to even try? I realised I was stalling. I _wanted_ Loki to be asleep when I came to bed. He'd know. He'd know I was wrecking my brain about something, and we'd have The Talk before I even had time to think.

I didn’t get much sleep that night, and in the morning I knew what I had to do. I was still scared, but there was really only one thing to do. Over breakfast I plucked up the courage to address it.

“I'd like to talk about changing the rules. Of this. Our relationship,” I said, my voice as steady as I could manage.

Loki looked at me, and then something died in his eyes.

“You want me to stop playing with Stephen,” he said, low and resigned. “I can't have it all, can I?”

What?

“No! Oh god Loki no. That's not... to the contrary. I mean...” I took a breath. “What if we opened up. Allowed the possibility of other people coming into our lives. Would you want that?”

He chewed on his lip.

“You met someone. We agreed not to have romantic relationships with other people but you're changing your mind about that. Do I know him?”

“Loki. Listen to me. Please reign in that imagination of yours and try to answer the question. It's all hypothetical. How would you feel?”

He looked tired all of a sudden.

“I'm not sure. It's dangerous I think. It might ruin what we have. I can't lose you.”

“You won't lose me. We won't lose each other. I love you with all my heart.”

He gave me a long look, half a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Same,” he whispered after a pause.

I stood and went to him, sitting in his lap.

“I love you. Nothing has changed about that. And it won't. It would just mean that we can be open to other people. Flirt, fall in love, be attracted to someone and enjoy it. All I'm asking is that we talk to each other. I'd need to know.”

“In advance.” He straightened. “I'd have to know before you date someone. Have a chance to tell you if I'm uncomfortable. Don't sleep with someone else and tell me after the fact.”

I nodded.

“I won't.”

He relaxed a little.

“I'll have to sleep on it.”

“Fair enough.”

24 hours later I texted Stephen:

“You have my blessing. Good luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. Did you see that coming? You probably did. Because let's face it. It's Loki. Who wouldn't want all of him...


	23. Shades of Strange: Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki has lost his ability to withstand very low temperatures, remember?

_Stephen and Loki had developed that game, like a goodnight ritual, whenever Loki stayed at Stephen’s. Stephen would send Loki to bed in the guest room, naked, and he wouldn’t be allowed to get under the blanket. He’d get cold, constantly begging for Stephen under his breath, yearning for Stephen’s body to warm him, his touch to soothe him, so when Stephen would come to him after half an hour or more and Loki’s body would finally stop shaking Loki would thank him, appropriately, and fall asleep with his belly full._

_This time, when Stephen showed up in the guest room, he was still dressed, and he sat down on the edge of the bed instead of getting in with Loki._

_“Did I upset you somehow, sir?”_

_“No.”_

_Stephen ran a hand through his hair._

_“You might wanna get more comfortable. Warmer, I mean.”_

_Loki looked heartbroken but complied, crawling under the blanket alone._

_“What is it, Stephen?”_

_Loki being Loki he sensed right away that Stephen needed him out of sub mode. Stephen gave him a grateful smile._

_“I’ve been putting this off all day, but I can’t do it right before you leave, so…”_

_He trailed off, unsure how to continue. Loki kissed Stephen’s thigh through his pants._

_“What?” he asked softly, his eyes betraying nothing._

_“I’m never happier than when you’re here, and I never feel more lonely than when my front door closes behind you on a Sunday,” he blurted out, not looking at Loki._

_Loki didn’t say anything for a while, and then he took a breath._

_“You two have been talking.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Hence the changing of the rules.”_

_“Yes. Look, I’m sorry if I went about this the wrong way. Maybe I should have talked to_ you _first but then again I didn’t want to put you in a compromising position. Where you would feel like you had to challenge your rules. Or even worse, make a choice.”_

 _“_ I _could have had that talk with her.”_

_“Yes. I know. I’m sorry if I made a mistake, Loki. I’m so nervous about this I feel like I’m going to be sick.”_

_“Please don’t,” Loki said dryly, and it was exactly what Stephen needed._

_He chuckled, and after a while he went on:_

_“You said I wasn’t the romantic type, and maybe that’s true. I_ am _better with my hands than with words. When it matters, at least. And you are the best thing that has happened to me in a very, very long time, and I’m scared, but I can’t_ not _try either, and…”_

_He sighed._

_“That was indeed not the most eloquent I have ever seen you, Doctor Strange.”_

_“Would you just help me here for fuck’s sake?”_

_Loki grinned, sat up and straddled Stephen’s lap._

_“That’s…not helpful.”_

_And then Loki just leaned in and kissed Stephen, gentle and sweet. After a while Stephen reluctantly broke their kiss._

_“I’m in love with you, Loki Liesmith. Will you have me?”_

_“Much better, Doctor,” Loki murmured and kissed him again. “And the answer is yes.”_

_Pulling back a little he raised his eyebrows._

_“Can we still have our ritual?”_

_Stephen gently nudged Loki out of his lap and stood, pulling Loki up with him and leading him to his own bedroom. Loki stood in the doorway and looked at Stephen’s bed._

_“Are you sure I’m allowed to…”_

_“I make the rules in this house. Get in the bed.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_While Stephen got ready for bed Loki lazily stroked himself but froze immediately when Stephen joined him. When he realised Stephen wouldn’t punish him for it he gingerly snuggled closer. Stephen pulled him into his arms and Loki relaxed into the embrace._

_“Thank you for allowing me to sleep in your bed again, sir.”_

_“You’re welcome. Do you like it?”_

_“Oh god yes. It’s so war and soft and being close to you all night is going to be heaven, sir.”_

_“So you’re not going to disappear on me again?”_

_“No, sir. This is bliss.”_

_Stephen smiled and kissed Loki’s neck._

_“Well why don’t you show your master some gratitude then?”_

_“Yes, sir,” Loki said, all too eager to please his…well,_ partner _, probably?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Stephen said it, and even more suprisingly, Loki didn't ruin it. I am so proud of them.


	24. Shades of Strange: Blessing

_In the morning Stephen just stared at Loki until Loki started to grin._

_“What?”_

_“Waking up to y_ ou _in my bed is such a blessing,” Stephen said, in awe, happy, overjoyed._

_“I like waking up in your bed.”_

_And then he added:” Sir,” and just like that he’d changed the tone again._

_Stephen swallowed thickly, eyes darkening. Loki moved down Stephen’s body, trailing kisses on his chest and stomach, and then he buried his face against Stephen’s hipbone._

_“Please take me, Stephen.”_

_“Hhmmm.”_

_“Please I need to be fucked.”_

_“Convince me, Silvertongue. Tell me how bad exactly you need it. How needy you really are, greedy little fuckhole.”_

_“I want you to hold me down and kick my legs apart, and then thrust into me, again and again, balls deep, breeding me. Please. You own me, I'm yours, I belong to you, body, mind and soul.”_

_“Not hard yet. You need to make a believable effort.”_

_“Please, I'll spread my ass for you, see? I'm spreading myself so I can take your cock. Please I miss your cock so much, I'm empty when you're not inside me. Please let me worship your cock with my hole, sir? Tear me apart. I'm so tight I can hardly take you but I will, I'll hold still while you rip me open wide enough to fuck me. I'll be quiet, I won't make a sound, just hold still for you. Please? Please may I take your cock up my ass? Please?”_

_“Getting there.”_

_“Oh thank god. Thank you, sir. Please breed me, make me worth something. I'm worthless now but if you shoot your load inside me and I keep it in will I have a little worth, sir? Will that make me worth something in your eyes?”_

_“Shut up. You'll be absolutely quiet while I take you. If I hear one sound I'll pull out immediately and finish myself off, and if I have to do that I'll never even look at you again, let alone breed your ass. Now open yourself up for me.”_

_Loki reached around himself and spread his cheeks, hooking two fingers in his hole and spreading it open, holding himself open for his Dom. Stephen spit into the open hole and tapped his cock against it, smearing his spit._ _Slapping Loki's ass in an upwards motion Stephen hissed:_

_“You're not wet for me, pussyboy!”_

_“I'm sorry, sir.”_

_“Tell me again what happens if you fail to get wet for me?”_

_“I get fucked dry, sir.”_

_“Very true. So, we both know this is going to hurt.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Despite his harsh words Stephen lubed up his cock and touched the tip against Loki's hole._

_“Keep it open. You know my size. Not. A fucking. Sound.”_

_And he pushed himself into Loki in one long thrust. Loki collapsed under the onslaught, his body trapped beneath Stephen's, his face pushed into the mattress._

_“Stay down,” Stephen hissed. “You don't need to breathe.”_

_He pulled out almost all the way and slammed in again. Grabbing Loki's hair, he pulled his face up to let him take a breath, and then he pushed him down again and started fucking him in earnest._


	25. Shades of Strange: Bound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short one, but kinda sweet :-) (And damn I wish I could draw...)

_Later Stephen was drawing lazy patters on Loki’s naked skin, and then he mused:_

_“I'd like to tie you up shibari style some day, suspended maybe.”_

_“What are you going to do to me when I'm unable to move?”_

_“What would you like?”_

_“Tenderness.”_

_Stephen gave him a surprised look. Loki shrugged a little shyly._

_“Pain isn't really your thing, and humiliation feels wrong when I look that beautiful. Because I know what subs look like after you've bound them. It's a piece of art. So I thought, what if you were gentle. I mean the act of being bound itself is obviously very sensual, all touch, your hands all over me, but...”_

_“But you want affection. Being touched for no other purpose than touch. Connection.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Hhmmm... all praise and worship.”_

_“No. I don't expect praise, I don't deserve that.”_

_“Loki. You're so beautiful it takes my breath away, even all by yourself, without any decoration. You really think I could resist showering you in praise when you're all tied up? Especially when it's done for the aesthetics of it? I'd be on my knees admiring you. And in case you're worried if that's Dom enough for me—you'd be helpless. I could touch you any way I want, arouse you, arouse myself on you. I might allow you speech so you can beg for what you want, at my mercy as to whether or not you'll get it. I can humiliate you without being mean, believe me. You'll humiliate yourself for my pleasure. The more beautiful a sub, the more efficiently I can degrade him.”_


	26. Trained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short one, and kind of silly/unrealistic; it just wouldn't leave my brain so I wrote it

“Wait when did you lube yourself up?”

I stopped what I was doing because holy shit when had he gotten that wet?

“I didn't, ma'am. Master trained my body to self-lubricate because he didn't want to waste any more time or money on lube.”

I called Stephen, right away, mid scene.

“This is fantastic! You hear this?”

I pulled out the plug and pushed it back in.

“Sounds slick,” Stephen said, and I could practically see his grin.

“Not using any lube! He's so wet he can barely keep the plug in. Thank you so much for training him!”

“You're welcome. I felt it might be nice to be able to use him at any time. You know, have him available? I've always envied people with female subs. Self-lubrication is so convenient!”

“Well whatever you did to him, right now he's dripping all over my fingers like a little school girl.”

“Oohh, think we should put him in a cute little uniform? Pigtails maybe, and a tiny skirt? And stockings?”

“Whoa wait a second. Yellow,” Loki growled.

“Erm, Stephen, we're having a bit of an attitude here. I'll call you back.”

“It's not a fucking attitude,” Loki snarled. “I just hate it.”

I put my phone away.

“Hate as in please use it to humiliate me?”

“Hate as in hate. As in don't even consider it.”

“Okay, okay. Just yanking your chain.”

“Yeah well, you're yanking in the wrong direction.”

“Look, you know that both Stephen and I would always honour your safeword, alright? I'm sorry for the tone.”

Loki sighed.

“Yeah, I'm sorry too. It's just that the two of you ganging up is kinda scary.”

“Oh come on you love that. Admit it.”

He batted his eyelashes at me.

“Maybe it's time we shared you again,” I purred, reaching out to touch him. He closed his eyes.

“God yes. I miss that.”

“I miss it, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At times like this I wish I ...erm I mean SHIELD... hadn't taken his magic away...


	27. Unwinnable Games II - Contradicting Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the "joys" of serving more than one Dominant...

Loki was on all fours before Stephen who was holding his leash. I was covering Loki's back in neat parallel welts, using a leather belt. I'd started from his shoulder blades, and by the time I reached the mid of his back he was moaning. When he let out a broken little sob I stopped and hissed:

“Keep your mouth shut.”

Stephen used the opportunity to pull him closer, Loki's face pressed against Stephen's groin. Stephen grabbed Loki's hair and pulled his head back.

“Open for me, slut.”

Loki did, and I lashed out with the belt.

“Didn't I tell you to keep your fucking hole shut?”

“I'm sorry, ma'am.”

“Not what I was asking.”

“Yes, ma'am, you told me to keep my mouth shut.”

“And what happened to that? I tell you what happened. There was a cock in front of you and your stupid moron brain decided you didn't need to obey me. Because you're a greedy little cock whore.”

“I am, ma'am. I'm sorry.”

Stephen pulled on the leash again.

“I'm waiting, fuckboy. I _hate_ waiting. Now open. That. Hole.”

When Loki didn't obey fast enough Stephen slapped him.

“Thank you, ma—”

And Stephen forced himself down Loki's throat, no warning, no easing in, right past Loki's gag reflex, and pressed Loki's head against his body. Loki's eyes started watering and his throat was working, but there was no escaping Stephen's brutal grip. It felt like forever before Stephen showed mercy. Shaking, covered in tears, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs Loki looked up at Stephen.

“Breathe through your fucking nose, cock whore,” I hissed, and he tried, but after a few breaths he had to gulp in a mouthful of air.

“I said,” lashing out again, “breathe,” another blow, “through. Your. Fucking. Nose!”

By the last blow Loki was a sobbing, trembling mess, unable to hold position, definitely not breathing through his nose. Stephen forced him on his cock again, signalling me to stop the beating. I lowered the belt. Watching Loki suck cock was a thing of beauty. He was so eager, making eye contact whenever he could, throwing himself into it even after a massive gagging attack, moaning around the cock assaulting his throat, his beautiful face a mess of drool and snot. And then Stephen pulled out and added his cum to the mix. Loki kept his mouth open, accepting it, eagerly sticking his tongue out to lap at it and at the tip of Stephen's cock. Stephen shoved his softening cock back in and the way Loki swirled his tongue around it could only be described as devoted. Stephen pulled back and Loki looked heart broken, whimpering for permission to kiss and lick some more, but Stephen just said:

“I swear if you don't obey your mistress you'll never taste my cum again.”

It took Loki a moment to remember my order but then he closed his mouth and looked at me.

“What, you want a cookie for following the simplest of orders?”

He shook his head, eyes on the floor.

“No sound,” I growled at him and lifted the belt. He took half a dozen blows without uttering anything, so I dropped the belt and ran my hand over his back and between his cheeks.

“Let me hear you,” I whispered, “mouth still closed,” and he actually managed it. It sounded so hot that I wrapped my other hand around his cock and, after he'd looked at me begging for permission and I'd granted it, brought him to a well deserved climax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised this has exactly the same number of chapters as Phase One and that makes me ridiculously happy. Also it means it's almost over 😲


	28. Collared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another big step in Loki's life, and it's a good one 😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People, that's it! Last chapter ahead!

“We've been talking about a collaring ceremony,” Loki said, playing with his fork.

For a moment there was no reaction, but then Stephen smiled at him, and then at me.

“That's amazing, congratulations!”

Loki was still fidgeting with his silverware, which spoke volumes about how he was feeling. I took his hand and gave it a brief squeeze. He looked at me, nervous, but grateful. He squeezed back and let go. Turning his attention to Stephen he went on:

“Well, it hasn't happened yet because it never really felt quite right... until now.”

Loki stood up from his chair and pushed it back, and then he dropped to his knees.

“I'd like it to be the both of you. Would you both please claim me?”

“You know I will,” I said softly.

Loki turned to Stephen, biting his lip, the picture of insecurity. My heart broke for him and I held my breath.

Stephen started to smile, and after a moment he nodded.

“Yes,” he said, voice hoarse.

He cleared his throat.

“Yes, I will,” he repeated, a lot more confident.

Loki just stared at him, the broadest smile on his face.

“Come here,” Stephen whispered. They both stood, and Loki dissolved into Stephen's embrace. I gave them a moment before getting up and putting my hand on the small of Loki's back. He immediately turned and hugged me, too. Over his shoulder I met Stephen's eyes. Stephen stepped close and wrapped his arms around Loki's waist.

Loki exhaled on a sigh.

“Thank you both.”

“Look at him,” Stephen murmured under his breath. “He's gorgeous.”

“I know... we're lucky, Stephen.”

Neither one of us could take our eyes off our sub, kneeling in the centre of the room, dressed in all black, hands behind his back, waiting. Low voices and soft laughter drifted through the room, all our friends waiting for us with him.

“Let's go do this,” I said and took a breath.

Stephen straightened beside me.

“Yeah. Let's go.”

Side by side we entered the room, all eyes on us. Except Loki's. He still kept his gaze on the floor, perfect posture, hotter than he'd ever been. The V-neck t-shirt beneath his suit jacket exposed his neck most enticingly, practically screaming for a collar.

Stephen took position beside Loki, his hand on Loki's shoulder. Loki briefly closed his eyes, a gentle smile on his face. Stephen gave a little speech, welcoming our friends, thanking them for coming. I stepped up and put my hand on Loki's other shoulder, retelling the story of our relationship.

And then Tony stepped forward, holding the heavy stainless steel collar the three of us had picked out together. He nodded to Stephen and me and turned to Loki.

“Loki, is it your wish, given freely, to be claimed by these two?”

We took a few steps to stand beside Tony. Loki lifted his head, looking at me and then at Stephen.

“Yes. It is.”

Tony handed him the collar.

Holding it out for us Loki said:

“Please claim me. I want to belong to the both of you. Please?”

I took the collar from him while Stephen stood behind him and lifted Loki's hair from his nape. The look on Loki's face when I closed the collar was pure devotion. I felt sorry for Stephen who couldn't see it, but when I met Stephen's eyes he seemed to know.

We both stood in front of Loki once again. He bowed his head in a deliberate gesture, and then Natasha stepped forth, handing each of us a silver dog tag with our name on it. We held them out for Loki to see.

“Are you willing to wear these?” I asked gently.

“God, yes.”

I leaned down and attached mine to Loki's collar.

“I claim you, Loki, to be mine.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

Stephen did the same.

“I claim you, Loki, to be mine.”

“Thank you, master.”

Tony cleared his throat.

“You may kiss the sub.”

Stephen smiled at me.

“Ladies first.”

And so I leaned in, framing Loki's face and kissing him, long and deep. I was vaguely aware of our friends cheering.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I whispered.

“Yes, I do. And I love you, too.”

I stepped back and made room for Stephen. He grabbed the back of Loki's head to pull him halfway up from his knees and into a brutal, possessive kiss. I could hear Loki moan into it, holding on to Stephen's forearms. A gasp and then applause from the audience masked Stephen's half growled words:

“You're mine.”

And then, softer, while lowering Loki back down:

“I love you with all my heart.”

Loki's breath hitched and his answer was almost inaudible:

“I love you, too, and I am yours, body, mind and soul.”

He took a breath.

“Both of you own my body, mind and soul.”

He bent down to kiss Stephen's feet, then mine. I stroked his hair.

“Stand up, gorgeous.”

He did, and I hugged him.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes. God, yes, I am.”

Turning away from me and towards our guests he opened his arms.

“Let the party begin!”

Tony cheered, everyone chimed in, and then our friends rose from their seats and formed a queue to congratulate us. Of course Tony was the first.

He clapped Loki on the shoulder.

“One thing is for sure—it’s very obvious who's calling the shots in this house.”

“What can I tell you, baby, I'm a prince,” Loki said, and I just grinned.

“About the more physical part of claiming you...” I purred into Loki's ear, and he froze.

Stephen appeared on Loki's other side.

“Would you like an audience for that?”

Loki closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, and I knew what he was going to say from the slight blush on his killer cheekbones.

So later that night Loki was standing in the middle of the room, all eyes on him once again. He looked around at our friends, and it occurred to me how confident he was. Happy to be the centre of attention, revelling in it.

“Thank you all again for being here,” he said, voice steady and resonant. “This day, this night has been amazing, and I especially thank the two of you.” His gaze settled on me and Stephen and he cast his eyes down in a miniscule bow. Straightening up he addressed our guests again:

“I've been formally claimed. I'm about to be physically claimed.”

A muffled ‘Hear, hear’ came from Tony's corner of the room, followed by cheers and murmurs.

“I'd love for all of you to witness it, but I'm fully aware that some of you might be uncomfortable with the situation. So to anyone who chooses to leave us now, thank you again. And to those who are staying, enjoy the show.”

Laughter and a few wolf whistles, more murmurs, and then Steve and Bucky approached Loki, quietly talking to him. He smiled and nodded and hugged them both, and they took their leave from me and Stephen as well. So did Bruce. Everybody else seemed very intend on staying. Wanda leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, eyes dark. Natasha looked curious, exchanging glances with Clint. Tony's hand rested in his lap, not very subtly ghosting over the front of his sinfully tight jeans every now and then. Loki turned to us and we stepped up.

“Undress me please?”

I realised how rare that was because usually he was naked to begin with. But I knew he loved to feel our hands on him. I reached out to caress his face.

“I'd like you blind for this. Do you think you can do that?”

He closed his eyes with a smile.

“Yes,” he nodded, “yes, I can.”

I put my hand on Stephen's shoulder.

“Can I borrow your tie?”

“Be my guest,” he said with a smile and let me take it off. When I turned to Loki he was looking at us with an expression I couldn't quite read, and then I realised my fingertips brushing Stephen's throat was an unusually intimate gesture. Stephen didn't seem to mind. And Loki didn't seem to be able to tear his eyes away.

“Close your eyes,” I said, low, but with authority, and as always that tone of voice worked perfectly.

“Yes, ma'am,” he breathed and obeyed. I blindfolded him with his master's tie, and then the two of us undressed him together. Stephen slipped the suit jacket off Loki's shoulders and I pulled the tee over his head. It felt soft in my hands, warm from his skin, and I could barely resist lifting it to my face. Even without doing so I could smell his scent on it, and that went straight to my head. I let out a breath and partly stuffed the soft fabric in the back pocket of my leather pants. I left taking off Loki's jeans to Stephen who took his sweet time, drawing a half-suppressed moan from our impatient sub who had apparently decided to go commando for the occasion but was wearing his chastity cage. What a nice surprise!

Stephen expertly tied Loki up in a beautiful harness, hands behind his back.

“I never get tired of seeing you work with rope, Stephen. It's pure art,” I said, making a mental note to ask him for a private rope class some time soon.

“Thank you,” he said with a modest little smile rather untypical of his ego. “I think the sub is ready to be taken.”

We’d both agreed not to get naked, so I took two dildos and handed one to Stephen.

“Which hole do you want?”

“Front,” he said, and took position. “On your knees.”

“Yes, sir,” Loki whispered and knelt, face turned towards the floor.

I stood behind him and kicked the inside of his thigh once, and he obediently spread for me. Stephen looked at me, and when I nodded, he grabbed Loki’s hair and forced his face up.

“This is how you are going to live,” Stephen murmured. “Both holes filled for your owners’ pleasure. Understood?”

“Yes, sir. Please let me serve you, master. My lady. Please.”

And on that cue both dildos disappeared into Loki’s body, fucking him from both ends. I was only very dimly aware of our audience, completely focused on the gorgeous naked body in front of me; the man I loved; the sub I owned, bound, blindfolded, caged and collared; what a sight.

After a few minutes Stephen and I locked eyes and pulled out at the same time. Panting, voice ruined, Loki begged:

“Please give it back!”

“Which one?” Stephen hissed.

“Both!”

I chuckled.

“What a greedy little slut.”

“Choose,” Stephen ordered.

“What? No! Please!”

“No?!”

I watched Loki freeze at Stephen’s tone. He took a shaky breath and lowered his head.

“Please choose for me, ma’am, sir. I'll gladly take whichever.”

“Modest and obedient. That’s the way I like it,” Stephen mused and gave Loki his thumb, then two fingers.

“And polite,” I added, slipping two fingers inside Loki's ass. I rubbed his sweet spot, steady pressure, and a minute later he sagged against Stephen's hip bone and his cum dripped out of the cage.

“I hereby declare this sub claimed,” I stated, grinning from ear to ear.

Stephen framed Loki's face and took off the blindfold.

“You've had enough.”

He pulled him to his feet and grabbed his bound arms, and I looked after them as Stephen led Loki to the bedroom.

After saying goodbye to our guests I went to join the boys. I found Loki curled up on his side, Stephen running his fingertips over Loki's body, and slipped into the bed to spoon Loki. And that's when I realised he was crying. Silent tears streaming down into the pillow. I looked at Stephen, but he was smiling.

‘Happy tears,’ he mouthed, and I moved in closer.

“Hey gorgeous,” I whispered.

He turned and snuggled up, and then he kissed me, long and passionate and full of gratitude.

“I've never felt so good in my whole life,” he said softly. “I feel... cared for.”

He blushed.

“I feel... loved.”

It broke my heart to see how hard it was for him to say that.

“You are, Loki. We love you. You're gorgeous.”

He smiled, happy and content.

“So is this what it’s going to be like? Beaten, used and degraded all night, and pampered all day?”

I traded looks with my fellow Dom.

“Sounds about right,” Stephen said and stretched lazily, and I just chuckled and kissed the sub once more.

The End

LOKI WILL RETURN

in Bruises: Phase Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, commenting, kudo'ing. Let me know what you think of the chapter!
> 
> LOKI will return...  
> ...in Bruises: Phase Three


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